Mr. Jay

Hi, it's the boring guy. I'm old fashioned, and often hesitate from trying new things. Sticking it in the back door, is never high on my list. Actually, it's on my not to do list. Often after playing a few times on a certain map, I develop a strategy customized to fit how I play the map. Some doors open, some closed by design. On Verrukt solo, I like going to the power from the MP40 side, and leave the spawn to Thompson closed. At least initially. It makes camping in Thompson nice and easy. On Ascension, I always leave the MPL to spawn closed. It makes monkey rounds a tad easier. On COTD, I like the AK door closed, the boat from AK to Jug closed. At least initially. There are other many doors like the above mentioned that I like closed. I call them the forbidden holes that I stay away from. I know many people who enjoy penetrating the stink hole, but personally I'm not too fond of it. What really becomes a stinker, is when you stick it up the wrong hole by accident. I hate after a good start found out that the wrong door has been breached. I hate killing the wonderful mood by going into the forbidden hole accidentally. You don't alway get lucky whenever you please, often takes you weeks to set it up in advance. So when the moment is right, you have to be ready. Unless you stick it up the wrong hole.

Hi, it's the boring guy. Work sucked today. I came out of the bathroom this morning without zipping my zipper, and some cute blonde had to point in the vicinity of my wee wee. Thought she was checking out my package, but emabrassed and disappointed that she was disgusted upon seeing my package. I have been playing this game for a long time, and for a while sucked bad. I spent the first few months in the spawn room in fear of faster and stronger zombies, not knowing they naturally progress through the rounds. I took many baby steps and slowly tackled achievements along the way. I recall many of my progressions and how they contribute to the player I have become. I remember my first round 30 solo like it was last week. I first learned how to play after seeing a tutorial from a YouTuber name Xcalizorz. I had read many guides from Superhands and EyeCntSpel, and seen Tom and Chopper's guides. I danced naked and kissed ugly babies when I was able to reach round 30. I remember my first respectable coop game. A game with 3 randoms on Five we made it to 28. I understood the team concept and "brothers in tranches" style of play. I was addicted and thirt for more. I remember NML and Chopper's impact on my game. I played it night and day and even skipped work to play NML. I shivered like a porn star with multiple orgasms when I first PAP my pistol. I was addicted and wanted more. I eventually settled for 176. It wasn't until recently that I broke 260+. Like everyone else I had set my own goals. I had long wanted to reach round 30 on every map without a down on coop. I was able to do that on most of the maps solo, some on coop. Good enough I guess. I consider myself pretty good today, enough to go from shitty to "the Shit". The road was rough and bumpy for the most part, but wouldn't have want it any other way. Your journey from shitty to the Shit?

Hi, it's the boring guy. I have been cursed. Everytime I take a major step forward, I somehow find a way to stumble and take a few steps back. Been playing Origins lately, and think I finally burst the bubble. Had a great game the other night, going flawless for 32 rounds. More importantly, I think I may have found a working strategy camping by Gen 4. It worked beautifully and safely until I carelessly get trapped after taking a nuke. No biggie, I'm a big shot now, I could easily get further. Surprisingly, in the next few games I never even sniffed round 10, dying mostly in the first 5. Last month I really wanted to do well on Der Riese. I finally best my previous high by a good two rounds, in the process fine tuned my previous strategy to make it easy. Do I duplicate the success afterwards? As much as I have multiple orgasms night in and night out. (For those of you confused, that meant a big effing NO!!!!) I had a game on COTD recently in which I was able to do set a new low for number of rounds needed for 8 perks. Do you think I would be able to continue the momentum? Heck no. The next few games I never made it out of the spawn room. After a game on Five in which I went flawless for 30 rounds, I stumble badly in the next few games, in some of the most embarrassing fashion. For some odd reasons, I always seem to perform poorly after decent games. And the reasons for going down are make this trend even more head scratching. After a picking up a wind staff piece and falling off the robot, the lone zombie double slap me right away before I could get off the ground. How about dying after taking a nuke? Like 15 seconds after a nuke zombies are still slapping me like I owe rent. How about dying while in zombie blood? You ever dolphin dive to a zombie blood while in red screen? It's like Christmas in September. It there is a Not Top Ten in zombies I would be in at least 5 of them. Friends of CODZ, you ever feel cursed after good games? Thanks for reading, hope you dye as often and as oddly as I do.

I'm usually the most angry person in the game. It is why I don't bother charging my mic anymore. People mute me ASAP.

Thank you gentlemen for the kind words and brains. I'm trying to establish myself as a quality member after years of posting crappy contents. Onecooldude you have no idea how much pain it goes into a successful (25+ round) game. It usually take approx 1-2 hours, given you are lucky enough to survive that long. Origins is very much a solo map, even though there are 4 staffs. Because no matter how good a certain person is at this map, it's still impossible to carry others without excellent communications and cooperations from everyone.

Hi, it's the boring guy. Origins is by far the hardest map to get the optimal setup for high rounds. I have read many guides, and seen many videos, but still require a great deal of luck to accomplish everything in the first 10 rounds. I have devised a simpler path to conquering Origins, at least initially. [spoiler="Why a dummie's guide?"] Origins is such a hard map to get set up. Trying to duplicate results from advanced guides by Chopper and Dahniska made it even more difficult. There had to be an easier way. I had made many attempts to get everything done ASAP, but die on the teen rounds with an ultimate staff. This is due to slower spawns and trying to balance ammo in the early rounds. [spoiler="The difference is in the first 10 rounds"]After many failed attempts to try to accomplish everything and actually getting lucky enough to have done it, I realized it is absolutely not necessary to have it done by a certain round. It is actually safer and quicker to just hang out in The Crazy Place, and finish the job when necessary. So the goal is to get jug, then head to the crazy place. [spoiler="The Beginning Strategy"]Round 1 Activate the generator ASAP, the objective is to get the 2x. Try to line up the zombies into a group, and fire bullets for collateral damage. Kill the last ones with headshots to ensure you do not pick up the drop. You will get one at 2500. If it's 2x, wait until zombies spawn on round 2, otherwise take it. Round 2 Carefully knife the zombies, and not to harm the last one. Spend the 500 and 750 to get to generator 2 and pick the MP40. If it's snowing then dig along the way for the ice staff part. While in generator 2, get the wind disk and the shield part. If you are lucky then pick up the wind staff part as the robot is approaching. Head back to spawn room (generator 1 for those of you confused.) Round 3 Do your best to stay alive and board the windows for extra points. Leave the last few zombies. Depending on your points, you may or may not have enough for jug. Open the doors to work shop (1000) and to NML(1250), and turn on generator 4. Keep an eye on the robots for potentially wind staff parts. If you do not have enough points, you could camp on top of the workshop with the NML door closed until you do. Round 4 Objective is to stay alive and generate points. You want enough for jug and open up generator 5. (1250). While in Gen 5, pick up wind disk. Always keep an eye on the robots for the wind staff parts. If you have extra points you could either: 1. Get stamina up 2. Open necessary doors for the shield parts. You want to build it in the wind tunnel. 3. Open debris to church for ice staff parts. Afterwards head to the crazy place from the wind tunnel and train there. If you do not have enough, camp the top workshop with MP40 should be sufficient until you generate enough points. Camping in the Crazy Place Camping in the crazy place is fairly easy, and ammo is plenty with the STG and AK74 available. The bigger circle you run, the safer it gets. I find having stamina helps, as well as the shield. By building it in the wind tunnel, you can run back and pick it up in between rounds easily. At some point you will need to head back a few times to finish a few set ups. There is a simple way to save unharmed zombies before heading back to NML. Juggling back and forth between NML and the Crazy Place, the damaged ones will die off, leaving you with the fresh batch. A few things to go back to NML for: You get a free double tap after spending 30,000 points. You get a PAPped Assault Rifle after accumulating 115 headshots. PAP your pistol for Boomhilda. I like BHD because it is a great training weapon getting you out of jams, and it kills the Panzer in no time. It snows on round 10, I'm not sure which rounds are definite snow rounds afterwards. You could just wait and do it in one trip in the mid teens, but I prefer in two trips, one on 10 during a snow round, and one after I have enough points for everything. [spoiler="Building the staffs"]Whenever you are ready to give up the Crazy Place, it's time to build you staffs, preferably in the late 20s, early 30s. I build the Fire Staff last, because the kills you generate lighting the candles count toward the ultimate staffs. When upgrading the Fire Staff, killing zombies by the candles on round 8 is different than killing them on round 32, as I found out the hard way, again and again. I just don't have the skills to do it. You need about 30 kills on the platform near the Fire Teleporter by the candles, and I divide them up between rounds. I would run around Generator 4 during the round, but kill the last few in the crazy place. Sometimes it takes me 4-5 rounds, a few times 6-7. Eventually I get it done. [spoiler="Camping with the staffs"]I struggle with this part actually. I can't seem to successfully and continuously navigate through the rounds. But I do have two simple strategies. Option A Camping the tank station behind Generator 2. Start the round inside the building, and head right toward Generator 1. Before reaching the trenches do a cutback and head toward the other side of the tank station. You will notice the zombies bunch nicely behind you. Kill with your choice of staff. I fail here because one slow spawn often cuts me off, and the staffs do not kill quickly enough to clear a path. Option B Camp by Generator 4. Start the round circling between the two robot steps, once they have all spawned move toward Generator 1. Do a quick cut back to Generator 4 and you will notice they will be bunched nicely. Kill with your choice of staff. I fail here also because a late spawn often cuts me off trapping me. Any advice on how to fine tune either strategy is fully appreciated. [spoiler="In conclusion"]I hope this helps someone. I know there are many people like me who watch advanced guides, but can't duplicate the results. I understand it is tougher to decpher writing guides, and I actually have a sample video available if anyone's interested. (I highly doubt it.) In one game I was able to reach round 25 within an hour and successfully upgrade two staffs, dying while doing the fire staff puzzle. Thank you for reading.

Oops, sorry. I just read the title and thought it was something else.... My favorite staff? Maybe the fire, but they are all pretty similar in terms of killing efficiency, at least in the lower rounds. I hate making the lightning staff solo. You have no idea how many times I run around on the tank avoiding two unharmed zombies and fall off only to get run over.

No problem. I enjoy disagreement, it makes things interesting. BTW, it's the boring guy. Who's this Jay you speak of?

Beating him without both jug and boom/staff is pretty unlikely for me. I think sometimes great players like you and Daniska forget that guys like me are very limited in terms of skills. I watched both of Danishka's origins starters and thought to myself there is no freaking way I duplicate the same results under the circumstances. I'm complaining about the difficulty of completing everything in 10 rounds, but I secretly need the challenge to stay interested. A la NML.

Thanks Chops. Glad I read this on your recommendations.

Hi, it's the boring guy here. If you use your phone excessively you develop text neck. If you play basketball chances are you will get jumper's knee. If you are a single guy, it's probable you have the tennis elbow, from typing on the computer. Obviously. The point is, if you do something often enough you are likely to develop syndromes. Zombies are not an exception, and I have a few conditions from killing freak bags over the years. It's inevitable. It's necessary. It's unavoidable. Do you have these diseases/ syndromes/ conditions? Selective hearing This condition develop over time from hearing too much preteen nonsense. Studies also show decline of brain functions from this type of hearing abuse. Solo-nitis Randoms break your heart time after time after time that you quit playing with randoms altogether. More common in BO2. As of this morning, it's been 232 days since I played with randoms on BO2. Monogamy syndrome You play with the same group of people since 2010, and haven't played with anyone new for years. You had to look up "randoms" in the dictionary. Deep down you feel you are married to them. You play what they play, you talk how they talk, you laugh at their jokes. If you haven't gotten the memo, their own you and you are their bitch. Crooked penis phobia Your game is linear and predictable. You never try anything new because you are afraid of change and afraid of anything "curvy". Spouse nag-itis Your spouse nags because you have forgotten your chores in favor of gaming. She/he nags nags everytime you touch your controller. You often pick a fight just so she shuts the fuck up and leave you alone. Day dreaming disease You are fantasizing a perfect game on Five. You are going flawless for 219 rounds while constantly reviving your teammates Chopper, Way, and Slick Vic. They compliment you on your skills and your sense of humor on the Mic. Everything is going as well as it could be. Then you wake up with the tv remote while kids are watching Frozen for the 100th time. Box hate crime You play way too many games with people who hug the box that you avoid it altogether. Just the word "box" makes you want to puke. You call it the "Pandora case" just avoid annoying yourself. Dump breaks You have played games non stop excessively that you actually go to the bathroom or eat a snack before you start a game. No one wants to wait for you taking a dump on round 22. You deserve to die. That's it for now, I'm heading home. Enjoy your weekend. Do you have any zombies related conditions?

I disagree on Mob of the dead being nearly as difficult as the beginning of Origins. Mob of the Dead seems difficult on paper- get all the plane parts, feed the dogs, grab shield / acid gat parts / warden's key, get free blundergat with the hatchet, etc. However, carrying out these tasks is much easier than it sounds. The dogs only require 6 zombies each, most Afterlife challenges can be done together in one afterlife, and the environment in Mob is much more forgiving as compared to Origins (zombie AI, Slow mud / the lack thereof). Origins is much more difficult to set up, and I don't even understand how Mob of the Dead can be compared. Um, I was not making a case MOTD is as difficult as the Ultimate set up by round 10 on Origins. In fact, the title of my post is "the hardest 10 rounds ever." The MOTD reference was playing devil's advocate. It would not be nearly as fun or challenging if you do not strive for the ultimate set up before 10. In some games, I just collect the staff parts when necessary and train in the crazy place until the mid 20s. It is a lot easier and faster than trying to get everything done. But then again, why simplify your steps when you can suffer through the grind and pain of failure?

One thing that was evident in WAW and BO1 but missing from BO2 was the humor hidden in the game. For the most part BO2 was less dramatic and less humorous. Origins could have been a good map for Treyarch to showcase their creativity, yet they focused more on the map details instead of making it "fun." The Origins ending would have been better had they include a video of the four characters dancing Gangnam Style while rolling the credits...

Hard to say really, depending on you're time of sign up. Overall my vote goes to MegaAfroMan. He may not be the smartest or the best player, bit when he was a staff he cared the most. His work ethic and level of intensity was unmatched. For a good while he was the face of CODZ. Personally Way2g00d was the closest to me. He was another handsome mature guy playing the game of zombies. We had a good time. Undad was another hard working staff who really gave his all, even before he was a staff. Choppernator was fairly consistent and available in my time here. I learned a lot from him as a player watching his videos and guides. Yeah, those four in that order would be my all time favorite. All staff members deserve our thanks. They sacrifice their time and money to shelter our bull crap, and it's time we show our appreciation. The easiest staff was by far EyeCntSpel, he was a man whore. Thanks to EyeCntSpel, Tac, Infesto, Grill, Hells W, Slade, Boom, Flame, and a few names escaping my mind. P.S. If you were a staff but your name wasn't mentioned you probably either weren't active or sucked. No offense.

I have started playing Origins again. Not because I like the map, but I feel I'm capable of better than my high of 27. Origins is not a hard map, but a very time consuming map. A lot need to happen before certain rounds for your ideal set up. Wind staff parts ideally before round 4 before zombies starting moving faster. Ice Staff parts ideally before round 4, otherwise will have to wait until round 10. Before round 8, you need enough points to open all debris for either Boomhilda or have the upgraded staff. Seemingly every end of round, you need to leave 1-2 zombies unharmed to run a few errands. I have played Origins a few hundred times, perhaps only once have I gotten all 4 staffs upgraded by end of round 10. Not only do you need to be very very good at points generating, you also need to be very very lucky and have superior patience. I call this the hardest 10 rounds of zombies. No other maps parallel the level of difficulty and the rarity of successful setup. MOTD maybe, NML maybe, but for me Origins presents the toughest challenge. Have Boomhilda and all staffs upgraded before round 10, is it the hardest challenge in all of zombies?

I sincerely apologize for misusing "anal" to describe something I consider annoying. As Psycho said, pain in the ass was where I was referring to, but it's poor judgement and usage on my part.

Hi, it's the boring guy, aka Jay, aka the 12 yr old virgin. In random lobbies, people often question my age and the authenticity of my PSN, a12yr_old_virgin. Honestly, if you can't clearly see the trolling intend behind the name, either you are very naive, or that you think I'm not very bright. For the record, I'm in my 30s and enjoys being a dick from time to time. We all have personal preferences in regards to killing and running weapons. For most maps, I find Mustang and Sally to be a superior killing weapon. With its unsafe nature, I normally have a second, safer, running weapon in which I have out while running around. Is it normal and acceptable to have your PP (personal preference) out at all times? You never know when you are going to need your PP, so you might as well have it out in your hands at all times. It is a practice I have been experiencing since I was a newbie, and something I preach to the younger guys. It may feel weird at first seeing people glancing at your PP, especially if it's something they fancy. It may be awkward at first, to showcase and overwhelm others with your PP, but you got lucky for a reason, it's completely ok to flaunt it. Anyone who feels you should not parade your PP is perhaps just jealous, I think they deserve to know the truth, that you are the one with the bigger gun, and will blast when necessary. Do you theatre your PP? Do you like running around with it? Do you enjoy the jealous glances people have when they see your package? Thanks for reading.

You know work sucks when you spend down time writing a novel. Been there done that....

The most annoying thing in zombies, ever, is accidentally taking Nuke. Scenario #1 On MOTD on round 1, after you activate the laundromat lead the zombies upstairs to the double points. You intend on knife the remaining zombies for a whopping 4830 points to your total. Ka Boom, 800 points instead. Scenario #2 It's the beginning of round 8, and you just bought Bowie knife. If your mind you are already planning on spending points you are about to get from knifing. Perhaps jug, perhaps the box, or maybe Mule Kick. How about none of the above? Because you get nuke on the first kill. Scenario #3 Its mid way through round 7 on Origins. You are close to getting all your set up and prepare for the panzer. In your mind you know you need to finish the puzzles to upgrading the Wind and Ice Staffs, and you are counting on the extra few hundred points on your next few kills. The very next kill? Nuke! Good luck on round 8 with only the Mauser and M14. Scenario #4 It's round 40 on Ascension and you are low on ammo. You have already emptied your Mustang and Sally, your Ray Gun, and your Thunder Gun. Fortunately the round is coming to an end and you just have to knife a few more crawlers before recycling your weapons. You know the monkeys are coming and you need to retool. You stop for a second to think, "will I be this unlucky to get a nuke and put myself in jeopardy?" Yes, you are this unlucky and the nuke always happens unexpectedly when you don't want it. I absolutely hate nuke, because it always shows up when least expected and least desired. Nothing fucks up your plan faster than a nuke at the wrong time. Time after time it's messes with me at the most critical times. I would take a giant dildo in the anus, if Treyarch is willing to remove nuke from all future zombies. Write it down, you heard it here.

Thank you for reading and commenting. If you do my prefered strategy, with the top door closed in the Thompson room: Runner needs to have ray gun ready while running, especially when going toward the trap from the steps. What get me from time to time is when zombies come in groups, thus I say avoid taking carpenter. When doing continuous loops, you need to identify zombie spawning points. For example, if you run the Thompson with top door closed, and the door to spawn closed. That means they only come through the main entrance, the middle window, and the back window in the fume room. When you loop, never shoot zombies while backing into those three spots, unless you know you have all 24 zombies present. So basically I would round them up initially without killing any, until I have close to a full 24 hoard, then start killing maybe 10-15, and wait for new ones to spawn. What that does is limit the number of new zombies coming at you, thus limiting your chance of surprise downs. With the Thompson available, use that as your main killing weapon as the runner. As the hidden camper, any AR would do, including the Thompson. If I have an experienced runner, I blast away with my beloved Mustang and Sally, but leave few crawlers. One last thing I want to say. Often I struggle to advance past 20s on a certain map. Then I change a few minor details, and just like magic I easily get to mid 30s. If you can get set up and run basic routes, your game is solid. You just need to identify your weakness and why you go down, avoid those situations, and you will see results quickly. Good luck. P.S. I can show you in game if you are on PSN.

Hi, it's the boring guy. I'm inspired to do a simple Der Riese execution guide. Some people have the skills to route and loop, but lack a few basic tips to make life very simple. Remember, I'm not claiming expertise or trashing your game, I'm trying to remind you some basic strategy. Here is my basic dummie's Der Riese strategy guide. First few rounds Maximize your points game. Use your pistol, build windows, take all drops except for nuke. Pick a route to power, and leave the other side closed. I personally prefer going thru the trench gun side, for two reasons. A. In intend on looping the Thompson room eventually, and having the door closed between spawn and Thompson room is crucial. B. If you are on top of the Thompson room and both doors are closed, zombies only come thru that window. It's an easy and safe way to navigate thru the first 10-15 rounds. After Turning power Some people prefer the back door from power closed, I open it ASAP for Bowie knife. Afterwards I use the above mentioned strategy to get thru the lower teen rounds. I know most people like to leave that door closed and camp there. Trust me, it's slower and more risky. PAP At some time between 15-20, you are ready to open all doors for PAP. After doing so, you are ready for your final long game run. Two options: If you plan on running separate trains, u suggest one run Thompson and one run STG. From the Thompson room the top debris and the door to spawn should be open. If the STG guy goes down, Thompson guy needs to just wait 15 seconds to wait for zombies to come toward the Thompson room, and simply head upstairs and run to STG. If Thompson guy goes down, STG guy waits 20 seconds for zombies to run toward you, and head into the teleporter. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Option 2, and my preference, camping together. If you leave the top door closed from the Thompson, one guy can run loop and the other can simple "hang out" by either Mule Kick, by the top steps, or watch the back window in the fume room. One guy gets all the attention, the other guy simply kills zombies. It's faster and more efficient. Just avoid making crawlers. A few more simple tips: If you happen to go down, for god sakes please stop shooting. Rounding up all 24 zombies and luring them away is much much easier and safer than blasting your ray gun and hope for the best. Don't take carpenter, the higher the round the more dangerous it is when they are coming at you in tight groups. Avoid crawlers. You will make a few here and there, but make it your priority to eliminate them immediately to avoid them clogging your route. The hidden camper needs to lay low. Stay away from zombies' attention and blast from a distance. I have been to 34, 35, and 37 using the above strategy in less than two hours. One game lasted a tad over an hour. It's definitely easy and quick. Thanks for reading. I'm doing this guide because I feel many people still could use some help to further advance their game.

Most embarrassing down? Too many to name like Psycho said. I have a few embarrassing fails I could share, not necessarily downs. 1. I PAPed a weapon during Bonfire sale, but forgot to pick it up. Not only did I lose my weapon, no one else was able to take advantage of the sale. 2. On a good run on Moon, I accidentally "tried to make a crawler" in the spawn room. 3. On one of my best NML runs, I teleported to Moon. I was on pace beat my previous high by more than 30. 4. I lost count how many times I trade in Mustang and Sally thinking it was CZ 75. I need my M&S. 5. You ever lose a perk and forget you no longer have flopper or jug? 6. You ever so sure you have the right robot foot but get stomped? That's all I have right now.

what the boring guy said. First of all, the boring guy is godly accurate in his assessments. Never doubt the guy. Two, very creative with your response, how original. Three, you basically lowered my credibility by agreeing with me Four, how is your baby girl doing?

Moon the map is one of my least favorites, but a good experience nonetheless. What comes with the map Moon, however, is must have. NML is by far the best in game challenge in all of zombies. It teaches you a lot about the game and help you reach your full potential as a zombies player. Along with Moon, are the BO version of the 4 WAW maps. It's a no brainer really, open the purse string a little, because the reward is too good to pass up.