CODZ is full of different people from all over the world; young and old, active and lurker, hardcore and casual.
Often times along the way, communication can get misinterpreted, and inevitably misunderstandings will occur. Sometimes it's 1 on 1, sometimes it's 10 on 10, and sometimes it's 10 on 1.
We, as human beings, are not perfect. We all have faults - and it's quite easy to forget that when dealing with a personal, sensitive, or passionate topic. It's also quite easy to get into the "pack mentality", to "gang up" on the odd man out; we are all guilty of this, including myself. Gossiping about other members, only using destructive criticism, putting someone down - most time it's completely subconscious, just going through the motion... other times the true gravity of words are not taken into account.
This looks like bullying, but in reality this is us being imperfect: we're a close knit community, some folks are going to have problems with other folks. Should we discuss them publicly? Absolutely not. IS discussing them publicly considered bullying? It's hard to say. No one is actively seeking out those to bully, and often times some members are just venting. It's a very contextual term, but one thing for sure is that it is an incredibly malicious act to consciously bully others.
"Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others."
CODZ is an oasis in a desert of cruel internet forums. I'd like to think I know a fair amount of you very well, and I wouldn't be able to name ANYONE who is purposely looking to "bully" other members. When there are bullys, you know what we do? We ban them. Swiftly.
I was in chat the other day (the first time I had been in chat for weeks), and we were talking about a member who is no longer here amidst discussing zombies. We were sharing stories of how this member basically rubbed some folks the wrong way, and were having a nostalgia trip. The topic changed, we started talking about a current member. Then, a new-ish member joined the chat. This new member basically told us all that we were lazy for resorting to gossip, and that we should get back on to the topic of zombies and stop bullying. I have since seen that member post about "bullying" happening here in other places. I wasn't sure if this new member had seen us talking about the member who is no longer here, and perhaps had thought it was all about the current member we were talking about when he joined in the conversation.
Regardless, him saying I was a "bully" killed me, I was just hanging out with my peers in the chat shooting the shit - and suddenly this new member thinks I'm some sort of gossiping bullying jerk. I tried reaching out to him at the time, but of course the conversation was still heated - and it was left completely unresolved. I've been thinking all week about how this new member was right, to an extent - but also about how I thought "bullying" was so harsh a term to use.
This happened about a week ago, and it's been stuck in my head ever since - not for his impression, but for what he was trying to say.
Another similar situation occurred with a different new member who was just trying to share a theory. His post was unfortunately misconstrued, and attracted a few responses that portrayed them as someone who was trying to pass off misinformation as truth for attention. This new user defended himself, and ended with something along the lines of "so this is how you welcome new members".
This, also, KILLLLLED me reading it. Seriously kills me, breaks my heart. We get so used to being blunt with each other, we get so used to pointing out misinformation - but we cannot let it override the basic principle that mostly everyone on CODZ means well. It kills me to think a new member comes in, gets misinterpreted, and basically fed to the wolves.
New member(s), if you read this, we aren't perfect. We know each other, we've been hanging out for the off-season, yes, we have issues from here to here - but instead of chastising us for "bullying", instead of calling us lazy, instead of "bullying" us back - try and realize that we probably don't mean it, we probably are just acting without thinking, and we are way too used to being candid with each other.
We are an incredibly friendly community, as I said, an oasis in a desert of terrible communities. That doesn't mean we aren't human. I consider myself a crusader for user rights, but even I mess up from time to time (and this thread is how I'm trying to "own" my mistake).
Let's just try and remember that most people mean well when they post. You can often tell when someone is posting for the love of zombies, or posting for the love of attention - but sometimes the lines are blurred. Before you call someone out: take a look at their post history, PM them, try and establish some sort of idea about where they are coming from before you chastise them.
We are all here to nerd out and talk about zombies, let's do our best to be friendly, helpful and all around a kick ass community.
Here's looking to a positive, bully-free 2015 for CODZ. All the best.