Film Reels

Edward Richtofen: Log Entry 937. Date: May 15th, 1942. Dear diary, our men have safely returned from Africa where they recovered a number of artifacts buried underground, in some sort of subterranean cowboy village. Apparently it was American. That's right, an American cowboy western town buried underground... in Africa. Stupid American schwein with their apple pie, und their baseballs, all thinking they can just waltz into another country and claim it as theirs?! There is no art to their work! (Sigh) But, I digress. The boys have returned with a number of fascinating articles und documents. They have pieces from a destroyed machine called the Pack-a-Punch. With a name as clever as that, it must be American. I have given the schematics to Doctor Porter. Perhaps he will have better luck replicating Jebediah Brown's work. Speaking of that blacksmith, we also recovered plans for the Agarthan Device. It seems that the blacksmith already built one of the pieces. The fabled "Vril Vessel". The Agarthan Device, a device capable of granting that which one desires. Almost like... un genie in a bottle. I think I shall keep this genie in my back pocket. If my plan fails, and it won't, perhaps this device can get me to Agartha.

Edward Richtofen: Log Entry 1438. Date: July 18th, 1945. Dear diary, I have been at Group 935’s Siberian Facility now for merely days but mein cup already runneth over with exciting news! First, yesterday I learned that I would receive not one, not two, but three test subjects! (Sigh of Joy) Hopefully with proper 115 injections we will be able to use these specimens to access the human mind. The Chancellor's undead army is on standby until we crack this crucial step. Und secondly...

(Door opens, dragging sound)

Guard: Here he is, Richtofen.

Reporter: Get you damn hands off me!

Edward Richtofen: Now what do we have here? A spy?

Reporter: If you know what's good for ya, you'd let me go!

Edward Richtofen: Oh yes, ja, ja, I'm sure you work for someone incredibly important.

Reporter: Honestly, you have no idea.

Edward Richtofen: How did you find mein secret facility? Who are you?

Reporter: I'm a reporter. I was hired by a man, Mr. Rapt. I never met him. He asked me to find some goods for him. Things he wanted badly.

Edward Richtofen: Sounds thrilling. And what were these goods he wanted so badly?

Reporter: (Sigh) Look, I don't know the specifics, he just told me to travel to Russia. He gave me these coordinates, which led me here. How was I supposed to know it was a freaking German base?! Gave some vague description of a strange metal object.

(Richtofen picks up the Vril Vessel)

Edward Richtofen: This, I assume?

Reporter: Yeah, that'll be it. Called it the "Seal of Duality", whatever the hell that means.

Edward Richtofen: Well, the Vril Vessel is not for sale, and is certainly not for stealing. But, it is curious. I have only just arrived at this facility, bringing the Vril Vessel with me. Yet, you somehow knew it would be here. How is this possible?

Reporter: How the hell am I supposed to know? I just go where the Shadowman says to go. I don't know how he does it. Listen, if Mr. Rapt wants to find you, he's got his ways. Look, you want to go ahead and get this over with? If you're gonna kill me, kill me. Not like it’ll matter. (Chuckles) It's kind of funny, you know. Something Mr. Rapt said, about if I failed him and died, it'd be okay. He said he'd reach out to me all over the multiverse, whatever that means. I didn't pay it no mind then but maybe some other me is out there having a lot better luck than I am.

Guard: Sir, what should we do?

Edward Richtofen: Take the strange sad little man away. Find a hole.

Edward Richtofen: Log Entry 1469. Date: August 28th 1945. Dear diary, progress continues on unlocking the human mind. If Germany hopes to continue their war, they need an undead army willing to obey orders. There's also been further interest in the Super Soldat Program. The German Chancellor considers this of high interest. We have begun the cloning process. We will have to see what results we yield. Test subject N3WB has been vomiting for two days straight. Our poor janitor, he has nightmares! Needless to say, we will no longer be serving fish. The Russian subject continues to be unresponsive. Doctor Yena suggested a serum made of vodka, but considering mein concerns about his loyalty, I wonder if this is perhaps another attempt at sabotage. The specimen from Mexico continues to rant incoherently about giant monsters und some uber fun war. Perhaps we were a little too eager with his 115 injections. I did not think he would go this crazy so quickly. (Sigh) If I'm being honest, I'm beginning to find this work a little drab und boring. Undead armies, Super Soldat programs... (Sigh) Group 935's deal with Germany has truly limited the organization's potential. The appearance of the spy last month has inspired me to review the blacksmith's schematics. The Agarthan Device and its three components: the Vril Vessel, the Apothicon Blood, und the Elemental Shard. The instructions to creating the Elemental Shard have my interest... piqued: Four human souls merged with Element 115… Not that I'm trying to brag, but, this may be something in mein wheelhouse.

(Heart rate monitor beeps)

Edward Richtofen: Scalpel please, Doctor Yena.

Harvey Yena: Scalpel, Doctor Richtofen.

(Tissue being moved)

Harvey Yena: What exactly are you looking for, Doctor Richtofen?

Edward Richtofen: We are attempting to locate an appropriate stimuli that will trigger the brain's involuntary willingness to obey command. Ah, there we are. Forceps, Doctor Yena, if you please.

Harvey Yena: Forceps, Doctor Richtofen. But the liver and kidneys? Or spleen?

Edward Richtofen: Our goal is to unlock the barrier to the human mind. With Element 115, it is important that we explore every possibility. The barrier may be where we least expect it. There we are. Retractors, please.

Harvey Yena: Retractors. It seems the Chancellor has been pushing us harder these last days. Is this because of the spy that was discovered? At the asylum.

(Tissue being moved)

Edward Richtofen: I do not know Doctor Yena. Our German leader, along with Doctor Maxis, is so limited in his thinking. His goals are simple-minded, childish. He keeps pushing for his undead army when he could have the Elemental Shard.

Harvey Yena: The Elemental Shard?

Edward Richtofen: A device capable of endless energy. We could use it to craft anything, including an Agarthan Device of immense power. Hold this open while I grab the injector.

Harvey Yena: Agarthan Device? Why haven't I heard about this?

Edward Richtofen: Doctor Yena, do you have a firm grip? You are shaking.

Harvey Yena: I'm ready. Please, proceed.

Edward Richtofen: Injecting serum in three, two, one.

(Tissue moving and heart rate increase)

Edward Richtofen: Hold it open. The injection is nearly complete.

Harvey Yena: I can't... hold this... grip!

(Explosive tissue sound, heart rate flat lines)

Edward Richtofen: Well, I guess the barrier isn't in his spleen. Nincompoop! You did this, I knew it! You let go on purpose!

Harvey Yena: Richtofen, it was an accident! My, my hand slipped!

Edward Richtofen: Dummkopf!

Edward Richtofen: Oh well, the Russian subject recently began responding to stimuli but only after injecting him with a new serum made primarily from vodka. Perhaps this is a breakthrough in the experiment we have been waiting for! Perhaps I was too harsh on Doctor Yena. It was he after all who suggested the vodka serum. Credit where credit is due! Today also marks a great success for one of mein side projects. Using a processed rock of Element 115 und the Vril Vessel, I was able to successfully siphon a piece of the souls from our three specimens und inject them into the rock. Without access to our fourth individual, I used part of mein own essence. Much to mein surprise, the rock grew und transformed, creating a beautiful shard of glass made purely from Element 115! ...Und parts from four human souls. The Vril Vessel, the Elemental Shard! All we need now is the Apothicon Blood and the Agarthan Device shall be complete. End log entry 1474, or should I say, 1-4-7-4... doesn't matter.

Edward Richtofen: You cannot do this. You have no authority!

Harvey Yena: You left me no choice, Doctor Richtofen. You used 935 resources to work on personal projects. You've been threatening the employees, myself included, and you're clearly suffering from excessive 115-induced delusions.

Edward Richtofen: Suffering from excessive 115-induced delusions?! How dare you accuse me of such, such, such, such vile lies!

Harvey Yena: Doctor Maxis has ordered the Elemental Shard to be sent to Division 9, where they are better equipped to study it appropriately. You are to cease experimentation on the test subjects and put them on ice. You are to return with them to Der Riese and meet with Doctor Maxis. He would like to discuss your... dedication to the cause.

Edward Richtofen: Mein dedication?! All of mein projects, mein programs, you think I'm not dedicated?! You have taken everything from me! (Sigh) Well, I still have the DG-2 in active development. I suppose that's something.

Harvey Yena: Actually, no. I'm afraid Doctor Maxis has cancelled its mass production as well.

Edward Richtofen: Scheisse! This... This is all your doing! You are intentionally sowing discontent! You are trying to destroy us from within! You... You're working for the Americans, aren't you?! You are a spy, just like Doctor Peter McCain. Doctor Maxis would've never hired Americans, no matter how much genius they have!

Harvey Yena: No, Doctor Richtofen, that's your paranoia talking. You've been exposed to Element 115 for too long. I'm just a loyal servant to Group 935 trying to protect its interests. Now if you have any issues, I suggest bringing them up with Doctor Maxis.

Edward Richtofen: Ohohoho, don't you worry your little lying apple pie brain, Herr Yena! I intend to bring up a great many things with Doctor Maxis!