ascension quotes

[bboyafro]

Tank Dempsey "Bye-bye box."

— Getting a Teddy Bear.

"Wow, you're all so limp and... wow"

— When getting multi kills with the Thundergun.

"I'll Send you back to space, monkey bones!"

— Getting attacked by a Space Monkey.

"Hey, Treyarch! Can we get a new objective, please?"

— When starting a new game.

"Is it just me or did anyone else hear a voice?"

— When starting a new game.

"Hey, what happened to all the color?"

— When starting a new game.

"No one can ever tell me why there's always a big switch to find. Seriously."

— When starting a new game.

"Whoa man, I didn't know I was that good. Oh wait, yeah I did!"

— When killing a large group of zombies.

"I think that one hit the sky. Holy crap!"

— When killing a zombie with the Thunder Gun.

"Ahh man, I keep forgetting to update my Facebook page."

— While waiting for the Pack-A-Punch to finish.

"Yeah yeah, there's no power. HOLY CRAP, NO COLOR EITHER!!"

— When starting a new game.

"This is like waiting for the midnight release!"

— While waiting for the Pack-A-Punch to finish.

"Hey, where's the hammer?"

— After buying a Sickle.

"What's this?"

— After getting the Matryoshka Doll from the Mystery Box.

"NOT A CHANCE IN HELL!"

— After knifing a zombie. Nikolai Belinski "I feel like a Capitalist, stealing all these kills!"

— When getting multiple kills

"First objective: Turn on power. Second objective: Drink. Or vice versa. You know what I choose."

— When starting a game

"I have sister who used to make these. She's bitch."

— When activating the Matyroshka Doll easter egg or recieving one from the Mystery Box

"The sound of your brain exploding is like music to my ears."

— Randomly

"I use this to kill a bear, also known as first wife."

— Buying a Shotgun off the wall

"If only divorce was this easy."

— After killing a zombie with the Death Machine

"Yeah, yeah, I'm almost out of vodka...I mean, No power!"

— When starting a game

"You touch me, I KILL YOU! Sounds like fair trade."

— Nikolai after killing a zombie that just hit him

"Why is there never any power?"

— When starting a game

"Am I drunk, or am I getting attacked by space monkeys?!"

— Nikolai being attacked by a Space Monkey

"Back off Monkey!...…Die!"

— Nikolai after killing a Space monkey

"You are a fool for touching Nikolai!"

— After killing a zombie that hit him.

"I've fallen and I cant get up!"

— Nikolai being downed. A reference to Life alert.

"I'll have to use my bare hands... just like with fourth wife. Always talking..."

— When out of ammo.

"Can anyone spare some ammo?"

— When out of ammo.

"Fuck! I`m out of ammo!"

— When out of ammo.

"I will help you, but only if you get me some vodka."

— Said after hearing the voices at the start of the game.

"This I can not wait to use!"

— Said after buying a SMG off the wall.

"Can anyone spare some ammo?"

— When out of ammo.

"These things eventualy run out!?"

— When out of ammo.

"I will aim carfully pull the trigger at just the right time...wait I am too good for this."

— Sometimes said after buying the M14.

"My weapon is hungry for ammo!"

— When out of ammo.

"They were like dominos, da?"

— Said after getting multiple headshots.

"I give too many of my bullets away!"

— Said when low on ammo. Takeo Masaki "Just Like how the universe began, Big Bang!"

— When killing Zombies with the Phd Floppers explosion.

"WHAT IS MY NAME?!"

— After killing a zombie.

"I don't rike that."

— After jumping through the Gersch Device

"Dempsey, you speak these monkeys' language, don't you? TELL THEM TO STOP STEALING MY PERKS!"

— Upon dealing with the Space monkeys.

"I'm coming Edward!"

— When Richtofen is being swarmed

"Uhh, I feel funny."

— After jumping through the Gersch Device

"Stay away from my Speed Cola!"

— When Space Monkeys attack the Speed Cola machine.

"They are stealing my Juggernog!"

— When space monkeys are attacking Juggernog.

"Get your hands off me you damn, dirty ape!"

— After killing a monkey that recently attacked him. A reference to Plantet of the Apes.

"Like the sushi, it's all in the cut!"

— After knifing a monkey with a Sickle. (Not confirmed for knifing with combat knife.)

"It slices! It dices! It's a wonder!"

— After knifing a monkey with a Sickle. (Not confirmed for knifing with combat knife.)

"Ah, I have time to update my Facebook Status!"

— While waiting for Pack-A-Punch to finish. Edward Richtofen "Die you demon."

— Randomly

"Oh, ze inflation is killing me!"

— When trying to open a door without enough points, a joke on the hyperinflation that occurred in the Weimar Republic (post WWI Germany), making the money nearly useless.

"They are so small now, I can put them in my pocket."

— Said when he blows up a zombie.

"This weapon is empty!"

— When running out of ammo

"Why do the voices sound so ANGRY?"

— Getting multiple kills

"Again, zee doctor is victorious!"

— Killing a zombie that hurt the player

"The ammo is low!"

— When low on ammo

"Oh ja, this will work nicely."

— Getting a SMG

"The screams of the dead fills my heart with joy!"

— Getting multiple kills.

"BOOM...Goes the corpses."

— Getting multiple grenade kills

"If given enough time I could create a generator from spare parts-why is it black and white now?"

— Starting a game

"Eenie meenie miny SHOTGUN!"

— Said when receiving a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"Hey! Zat little man is trying to steal my perks!"

— Said when a space monkey its destroying a Perk-A-cola Machine

"Tiny pieces.....in the wine!"

— Said with any explosive kill, reference to the song Tiny Bubbles released in the 60s/70s

"I used to crush these when I was a child to hear my sister cry in anguish."

— Said when interacting with a matryoshka doll.

"I do like the sound of this one... It tickles my special place."

— Said upon activating the musical easter egg

"It rubs the lotion on the doll, it does this every time... Or else it gets the hose again."

— When interacting with a matryoshka doll. Also a reference to the movie, "Silence of the Lambs".

"Oh, there's a doll inside a doll inside a doll! Sounds perverse..."

— Upon interacting with a matryoshka doll. i am sure there is more of them and i don't take credit for these ;)