Pandora's Genesis

[Ehjookayted]

I. Prologue

     My eyes closed, greeting the blackness openly, grimly smiling at the fate that awaited my mere recognition. I quickly turned away, afraid to meet its gaze. Yet, I knew it not. Who, or what, was this figure, one that seemed to eclipse all reason and judgment with its whisper? Everything that I was began to shut down and close off, trapping me in an iron pen, beyond immediate identification, but I acknowledged the eerie familiarity I had with this place. It was obvious how to escape; however, I knew I could not physically shatter these barriers. Even though I had had yet to touch the obsidian walls that felt so fragile yet unbreakable. A force took over me. I rammed into the wall with my shoulder again and again. I could feel, with every collision, my shoulder slowly dislocating, with every ligament silently ripping apart. Overcome with exhaustion, I collapsed onto the cobblestone floor that sizzled with an eternity of regret. A single, solitary tear trickled down my worn, morose visage. As it quietly came into contact with the floor, the tear seemed to flood the fires of my sorrow with the purity of its innocence. Suddenly, the floor began to quake, splitting the earth in multiple directions. I fell through the cracks, free-falling into the infinite blackness.

     When I reached the end of the hallway, I found myself facing a door; the noise had died down, and I stood in absolute silence. My hand grasped for the door knob, but when I moved to open it, an agonizing scream pierced the still air with trepidation. I heard bolts lock, and as many times as I turned that bronze knob, I heard the same, resolute click. The door would not open. I suddenly filled with rage once more, and determined to barrel my way through what seemed like the final obstacle, I charged into a barrier, but this time it broke. Yet, it still rendered every muscle in my right shoulder useless. Nevertheless, the door opened and I felt as though time stood still. I was greeted with whimpering and quiet sobs.

     We exchanged glances, neither of us uttering a word. We stepped through and time seemed to evaporate from our universe, rapidly moving us by a mirage of color and light, ultimately landing us on an endless seashore of white sand and clear, blue water. We sat down. Our feet burned in the sand, but it was a comforting burn. She looked up at me, and I met her tired eyes. I looked at her for a second and then asked, "What's your name?" Almost instantly, tears streamed from her eyes, making little droplets in the sand. She leaned up to my ear and whispered to me, "Hope." She managed to smile at me. I looked at her for another second, and it was if her smile erased all the doubts and worries in the world. I took her hand in mine, and we just sat there, gazing across the ocean, trying to see what secrets lay over the horizon...

     My hands weren't trembling anymore. I moved them toward my side, took my finger off the trigger, and tossed the gun into the water. I looked at the evergreen trees covered in snow and began to walk home. My shoulder twitched.

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NOTE: I'm not sure how I feel about this story, so it is subject to major revision.

[Blamco177]

Hmmm.....

An interesting story, though not alot of details to be good or bad.

Narraration is great, really detailing everything just right.

This is the first "Guardian" styled story I've read on CoDz, so kudos for originality.

Overall, a good read.(Even of it's just the prologue)

[MyLittleHellhound]

OMG, it's ehjookayted's story!

Well, it was quite mysterious and deep. I like that. Keep going with it!

And pretty much what Blamco said!

If you complete more stuff, do you think we should put t in the book?

[perfectlemonade]

Very descriptive, but I found that there some places where it got a little purple prose-y. If you don't know what that is, click here. Also, I'm not quite sure where this is going.

But, alas, take this with a grain of salt. It's your work, do with it as you please. It's a really beautiful piece. You are so fluid with your writing.

You should try out poetry! I think you'd enjoy it! :D

[Ehjookayted]

Thanks for all the constructive criticism guys! This is new territory for me. I'll see what I can do with this, if not, I might scrap this. I do manipulate the path of the story with a lot of emotion because I do want that end reaction from you all. This whole thing is purple prose to be frank. I'm not even sure how much I like it.

The writing I like the most is speech-writing, which I'm sure you've (maybe) seen as well as troll-slaying writing.

[Ehjookayted]

II. Dissent

"It works. It fucking works! HA-HA! At long last, the Guardian Project is nearly complete."

"Are... you... fucking serious? You just destroyed this man's life, and you're rejoicing?! It's a damn simulation to you!"

"But it is reality for him. That is the beauty of it, no? Post traumatic stress can be shown to increase proclivity to violence. We are in essence, shaping memories for a man so that he can use his inner rage to access strength that will allow us to win this war."

"At what cost? We, no, you will win this war, not I. I'm leaving this project. What reason do I have to stay? You are corrupting the very fabric of human nature: the ability to create one's own memories and thoughts. For what? Victory in a meaningless struggle against these undead creatures we have all come to fear? I thought wrong about you, very wrong."

"My dear sir, you have reached a point where you are letting morality get in the way of your work."

"Work should get in the way of morality."

"You speak in philosophy, and I, in the tongues of the world. The world wants a place where they can take their children for ice cream just because it's Sunday afternoon, not because they don't know if they're going to die tomorrow."

"You are so fucking self-righteous. Get the fuck off your high horse and let's examine what the hell just happened. I can't deal with your bullshit right now. I'm doing this my way right now."

"Fair enough. If you fail, it's your funeral."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means what it is."

"Okay. Now you're captain ambiguous. Great, what the fuck is next, you great big quack? Alright. Forget it. The subject's progress was good. There was an issue though. It seemed that he killed one of the officers by the river, the one that wasn't supposed to die."

"Dammit. I knew this would happen. The game is just too weird for him, too normal. I remember when I... found this subject I was able to ensure that he could fight off waves of the undead physically. Hell, he saved my life. But, I was not sure about how he could save us mentally. Still not entirely sure, either. Why did he kill the officer?"

"It was random, unscripted. We must have forgotten the key point, the shoelace stop at the bridge. What temperature should we keep the simulation?"

"How could you forget that?! The 30 seconds it would have taken him to tie it once more would have made all the difference. Now he's killed an innocent man, and you are the one who has unleashed this chaos creator on the world and we will-"

"STOP. Everything will be fine. Keep the temperature low for now. I want him to feel alone."

"YOU. You left out the shoelace; you are introducing a random variable into his development. This is simply unacceptable. You are trying to undo all the work we have tried to accomplish with him. Change is infinitely dependent on initial condition."

"Fuck you. This journey has taken far too long."

[MyLittleHellhound]

:o nice chpter. more shall be revealed!

I loved your use of language, as well as adding a curious factor.

Hoping for more.