Lost Minds

[darkflareon]

This is my prequel to my other short story lost souls. I am hoping for this one to be longer and for it to address the writing adjustments suggested in comments to the first. I shall be posting in parts and I hope you enjo

Part 1

As he entered the house silence seemed to fall. All movement stopped from the timid dog, that, moments before had been happily chasing the rattling ball which was muffled by the carpet. Through the door to the other room a flickering light could be seen as the television still danced though the noise had fallen to what was now a whisper.

The woman was curled in the chair. Her fear enhancing the man’s every move. The clattering of the keys on the small table in the hall became a thunderous bang as if a bomb had exploded a few houses over. The woman flinched wanting to run screaming but too afraid to leave. He entered the room where she was cowering.

The thuds of his feet hammered into her ears shaking her whole body.

“Honey I’m home” the dark whisper echoed through the house. Its only response was the small whimpering of the dog.

Part 2

His hands ran over the woman’s shoulders as she shivered to his touch. Wanting to pull away but knowing the beating she would get if she tried. Very calmly and slowly, allowing himself time to relish the moment the, man lifted the female he called his partner from the chair she was by the neck throwing her to the ground.

As she hit the floor her knee jerked. The following crack sent spasms of pain up her leg filling her eyes with tears. She tried to stand up but the broken cartilage could hold her weight. She hulled herself across the room to where she kept her first aid kit and began patching up her injury.

The evening continued like this until she was finally allowed to crawl into her bed. This was a camping mat with a sheet provided for a duvet. Not much but better then what would happen if she tried sleeping in the double bed her partner slept in.

The next day she was dragged out of bed to limp around in the **** please report this topic, post **** and make her partner breakfast. Before he stormed out of the house to work, he glowered at his partner remarking how dull her skin was. Unable to control herself any longer she fell to the floor floods of tears soaking her top and blotching her cheeks. Just before her sobs became uncontrollable there was a gentle knock at the door.

As she answered it Florence saw the welcoming face of her only friend, Arthur.

I have posted two parts here as they are both fairly short.

[MyLittleHellhound]

I am interested to see where this is going, as far as I know she is being abused by her husband in some sort of way? :?

Very good Flareon, keep it up!

[darkflareon]

Part 3

Quickly Florence allowed Arthur in, hoping he hadn’t been seen by her partner already. She limped over to the small arm chair sitting down properly for the first time since her injury.

Arthur had been fighting anger all morning and felt the surge rush through his body, his vision even started to cloud over. Realising this wouldn’t get him anywhere; Arthur took several deep breaths allowing his pulse to calm and the fog to clear before going to sit on his usual sofa.

Arthur had been coming to see Florence for years ever since she and her live in monster, as he preferred to refer to her partner, moved in. He had tried to come round while he had still been in once; he was shown the door abruptly. Bumping into Florence taking out the rubbish one day however Arthur realised how amazing she was. He would have given anything to have a girl like this adore him; he knew this was what infuriated him most about her treatment. He wanted her and he couldn’t have her so had to watch as she was broken again and again.

He tried to persuade her to go to the police but her fear remained just as solid. He had terrified her from the start and now wasn’t any different. Arthur watched with a pained expression as she made light of her troubles engaging herself in his life. He was finally pushed and the cascade of the week’s events fell into place. She never missed a detail to question, a story untold or slit embarrassment that would make her giggle but allow him to move on.

A lot had happened that week as Arthur had been promoted in work this left them chattering a lot longer than they should. Before Florence noticed the time, before Arthur left there was the definitive noise of a key in a lock. But no one in the house heard. There was the opening of the door that remained unheard to. The conversation in the lounge hadn’t though.

As the door shut the voices died instantly.

[Jolteon]

I've just finnished reading part three. This is REALLY awesome. Definately cannot wait to see where this is going. Good stuff

-Jolteon

[Ehjookayted]

So detailed yet precise with your language. Your writing style is unique and your plots interesting. Keep it up, girl!

Ehj~

[darkflareon]

Part 4

Arthur watched as Florence began to shake, she knew the anger that was coming, she had felt it before. The footfalls in the hallway were slower than usual, heavier to. As they approached the door Arthur stood up. He realised that he couldn’t stop the man he was about to face but just maybe he could make him see sense. He had no hope.

As Arthur faced the man he realised this, the man’s eyes had clouded over just like his vision had earlier. The rage that was going through his body now was unstoppable. He barrelled into Arthur sending him flying across the room and crashing into the bookshelf. Florence had stopped shaking now and was curled frozen too scared to defend herself. He simply brought his hand across her face. The force however knocked her out cold and she crumpled to the floor.

Arthur now stood back up though. He could feel the blood pumping down his arms and through his legs if there was a moment to take Florence’s revenge. He wanted blood, and he was going to get it. His eyes fogged over as had happened earlier his mind began to fade. He ran into the other man no forcing him over a chair. As he moved across the room Arthur felt himself disappearing and instinct began to take over along with so much rage.

In a cat like stance he assessed his pray then without hesitation He leaped over the chair. Forcing his knees into the chest ribs were shattered tearing through the lungs allowing blood to pour into them. As the victim started to cough up blood punches were driven into his face shattering bones tearing the skin open the dwindling mind Arthur watched as the blood pooled over his hand forming swirls as first before turning into a slid mass. He looked down at his work. The face below was unrecognisable. The man it belonged to could barley breath. A strange pleasure ran through the man that once was Arthur.

The last of his humanity drained away along with the life of his victim.