Epic Rap Battles of CoDz

[Speedo Cola]

Have you ever watched Epic Rap Battles of History? Well this is kind of like that.

Someone posts a rap, and then the person below them posts a rap to combat them. Easy as that.

If you guys wanna use the beat of a song, then just tell us what song you're using, so we can kind of "imagine" what it would sound like in tune with the beat.

I don't really have an opponent, but I have to go first lol (Btw, I'm using Asap Rocky's F****** Problems Beat:

Hold up, haters getting ticked

Like the timebomb in the song that I just lit

Taking too long, when I go to spit

Off goes the timebomb, then it's done and over with

Yeah

Yeah dog, get on my level

Like Mario, nah if he grew up to be ghetto

I don't kid around, but I build my mansion out of legos

Trust me, you step on one you'll claim it's the devil

Cause I'm the speedo. The SpeedoMonkey

I find it funny cause I got money

And man I run the

place, so give a kiss to ya honey

My honey Bunny,

Like Playboy, My Monkey Country

is just stuntin' from the

Beach in our undies

They say I ain't made a song that could top my oldest

Song, but you should've known that I'd soon two-fold it

I be wearing speedos, like I wanna increase my speed

Now go drop out, cause I have given you automatic defeat!

Speedo

[sh3baproject]

oh cool. my turn. but i gotta make this quick. i have no rival,so i choose mocking!

hey mocking,ya locking yourself in your door?

i see you hiding,going dying!

while i shoot the dead with my lead,

your fleeing and peeing!

crappy yes,but i have to charge my ipod. so see ya.

[Electric Jesus]

Time for EJ to lay his shit down

That's right bitches its the lightning round

'Lectric J-Dawg be shockin' it, Rockin' it and droppin' it

My thunder rolls smooth, bitches tryin'a be stoppin' it

Y'all dead meat sacks tryin'a bust a rhyme

Ain't got shit on me, It's the thunderbolt messiah's time

I bomb atomically, my lightning strikes your ass down

One in a million shot, so hot you drop down

Can't take the heat? Well don't try to run

I got the speed of light bitch, The heat of the sun.

Get them weak rhymes outta here y'all, take a hike

Now who's gonna challenge me and take the mic?

[sh3baproject]

Time for EJ to lay his shit down

That's right bitches its the lightning round

'Lectric J-Dawg be shockin' it, Rockin' it and droppin' it

My thunder rolls smooth, bitches tryin'a be stoppin' it

Y'all dead meat sacks tryin'a bust a rhyme

Ain't got shit on me, It's the thunderbolt messiah's time

I bomb atomically, my lightning strikes your ass down

One in a million shot, so hot you drop down

Can't take the heat? Well don't try to run

I got the speed of light bitch, The heat of the sun.

Get them weak rhymes outta here y'all, take a hike

Now who's gonna challenge me and take the mic?

wow,just wow :shock: amazing my friend! i will try,but it wont be as good.

hey hey,lets get this started!

i slay all of sam's undead pets with my guns!

i make tons of awesome puns!

go eat some crap buns!

I slap!

you crap!

i shoot!

you poop!

i hit!

you throw a fit!

i have a revolver to kill,

you just take a pill!

i may be a crappy rapper,

but i aint a cowardly fapper!

i am a win to a team,

but you jesus are a pin to a group!

This is fun :mrgreen:

[Naitrax]

Take the muzzles off, Nai here with real shit

Flow like a river, spit like the rain,

Take it all away all you gonna feel is pain

Guns-a-blazing come in like a thunderbolt,

Strength unrivalled blow up like an upgraded Colt.

Living legend, set your rhymes ablaze

Don't be too sad when I say I'm unfazed.

XD

Terrible. But that was my first ever time.

[Boom115]

Ill chew you up and shit you out,

Like Tre did Tranzit.

I take your kills I’m the AK bandit;

Rob your bank and re-deposit.

Just leave your game back in the cess-pit.

All y’all rhyme about is thunder and lightning,

Your verses are frightening.

So please commence your admiring,

While I’m firing,

Booms annihilating.

I always keep one in the chamber, case you ponderin.

Poppin headies while you’re wanderin,

Your revive points I’ll be squanderin.

BoomByeYeezy’s here with game in his bag.

I shouldn’t forget to mention;

SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG!

[InfestLithium]

Hey hey, you forgot Professor Danny

Teaching yall how to kill a wee Panzy

You noobs and all of your downin'

Hitting for a Ray Gun while takin' a back poundin'.

Oh snap, did ya hear that noise?

Infest is back with the undead boys

Your shotgun don't mean shit -

It just ain't fit

For a ragequitter; so you better

SIT yo ass down, cause Imma crack a tale;

Like what I did in that Tranzit fail.

Know me or hate me,

My beats are so free

I'd rather ride a bus as my favorite steed.

Next time you better not take my staff

Or else, I'm gonna have to laugh

At your punk ass, doesn't that seem to ring a bell?

Oh yeah - cause I'll be the only one to survive this hell.

West side.

[Speedo Cola]

I'm back, like ya spine, this time to blow ya mind

Plus I'm spittin' some sick rhymes in these lines

Every time I do it I make a movement without even trying

But why lose it? I make music that can make zombies die

Cause I shoot ya hip, and then hop

My song doesn't skip, nor does it stop

Come on little bitch, what you got?

Just one little flick, and ya drop

And I got rays flying from my Mark 2

To shoot you, cause I can go hard, ooh

Rhymes as deadly as the golden spork, to tear apart you

I'm just a part of Group 935 to survive and bring war to

You, cause all you do is suck, only way I do is to succeed

Plus I'm the best on CoDz to periodically bust the

Best rhymes of the times why even try to up me?

Cause you're only featured on this rap battle, that's why you get Da-Feat!

[Speedo Cola]

No competition? I guess victory is mine... for now.

[Delta]

My first try at rapping. Ever.

Ok. Here we go.

You think you're better than me?

Well, fuck no!

Fuck you, and your family too!

Sorry, was that a little violent?

I'm sorry, lemme dumb it down for you,

You're just a fuckin' child in my presence!

Been here longer than me?

I'm sorry son, I can't find a fuck to give!

Come on, try me again.

What, scared? Shittin' yourself?

That's exactly as it should be!

One more time, let's hear it!

Fuck you and your family too!

[Electric Jesus]

I hope you're ready to get yo' ass beat

'Lectric J-Dawg's comin' back to crank up the heat

Now Imma take it slow and give the newbie some slack

So y'all can check yourselves, relax and kick back

While I let my shit flow like the current in my veins

I feel the voltage in my soul and you'll feel it just the same

'Cept you won't be havin' fun, you'll be burnin' to a crisp

When you get blasted on your asses by my flyin' thunder fists

All these wanna be gangstas with their 8 milli glocks

Well I hope them mothafuckas are ready for a shock

Cuz imma top yo rhymes, time and time again

So tell me bitch, do you still think you can win?

Imma give y'all a shot but mothafuckas take care

I'm the master, crazy bastard, the best anywhere

Now will someone step up to the mic and take a hit

If you think you got what it takes to top my shit.

My official rapper alter ego is 'Lectric J-Dawg. Electric Jesus is my Marshall Mathers.

[Speedo Cola]

Look dog, you needa back off like Miley at the VMA's

Get the act, you a gangsta? Heck, Only on Gta

Fakin' your past just to make a CD play

You're bound to die out any day, so please Decay

In this genre, I'm unstoppable

It's because I got the flow

To knock those, fake macho men out who made this game irresponsible

I don't need honor to be on a roll

Beating me is just impossible

This line ain't just blurred, it's uncrossable

Except by me, I've got the optimal skill to make hip-hop fans go

"Woah! Who taught you to rap like that?"

I grab that mic back, cut up the beat, like a knife to a track

I'm lyrically fightin' the trash that thinks swag outsources class

But I'm outspittin' these wack rappers so fast, my rhymes are gonna crash!

[Delta]

Delta's rap game:

Take 2.

Alright, back the fuck up.

Let Delta up in this motherfucker.

Sit back, grab a glass, son.

Cause I'm about to rip you a new one.

Delta up in this shit.

None of you fuckers can even kite like me.

None of you fuckers can even comprehend this skill.

None of you fuckers can say "none of you fuckers" like I can!

You sure you still wanna try me?

Come on, try me, you little shit.

Juggernog, speed, quick revive, double tap!

Whoops, did I make speed sound like a drug?

I'm sorry, let me make it family friendly for you!

Speed fuckin' cola. That enough for you?

I've been here since the start, bitch!

Tank, Eddie, Takeo, Nikolai!

These men make you look like a fucking disgrace!

For God's sake, one is half drunk at all times!

[Speedo Cola]

Delta's rap game:

Take 2.

Alright, back the fuck up.

Let Delta up in this motherfucker.

Sit back, grab a glass, son.

Cause I'm about to rip you a new one.

Delta up in this shit.

None of you fuckers can even kite like me.

None of you fuckers can even comprehend this skill.

None of you fuckers can say "none of you fuckers" like I can!

You sure you still wanna try me?

Come on, try me, you little shit.

Juggernog, speed, quick revive, double tap!

Whoops, did I make speed sound like a drug?

I'm sorry, let me make it family friendly for you!

Speed fuckin' cola. That enough for you?

I've been here since the start, bitch!

Tank, Eddie, Takeo, Nikolai!

These men make you look like a fucking disgrace!

For God's sake, one is half drunk at all times!

None of you fuckers.

Btw, I know I don't say it like you.

Cause I say it better! :lol:

[Electric Jesus]

Now y'all quit your fighting like an old married couple

Now that EJ's back y'all are in for some trouble

SpeedoMonkey fairy princess and delta drama queen

Get ready for a man's work when I lay yo asses clean

You think you say it better? That ain't sayin much

Cuz delta's got that weak shit, I got the pride of the bunch

SpeedoMonkey's shit be fly but his ego's runnin' high

Y'all are cruisin' for a bruisin' and you're both gonna die

I'll give y'all a triple-kick mule kick straight up yo ass

I'll give ya headshot deadshot brains across the grass

Cuz I be floppin' it, droppin' it, blow that shit and now I'm done

If only you had some stamin-up you mothafuckas could run.

[Delta]

Listen here, EJ, you know you my n****.

Oh shit, I just said n****!

What're you gonna do? Call me racist?

I'm a white boy, but I know that word too.

Anyways, let's get back on track.

'Lectric J-Dawg? Bitch please.

More like, fuck I dunno, Earthen Cat?

What the fuck kinda name is that?

You think you're the next Marshall Mathers?

I got some news for you, son, that's me.

SpeedoMonkey, you know you're my friend too,

But shit, man, what fuck kinda name is that?

I mean damn dude, your avatar is a fucking MS Paint drawing!

Disclaimer: None of these insults are to be taken seriously.

[Electric Jesus]

Alright son, now I'm adressin' you directly

I don't think I heard yo ass correctly

I could have sworn you were tryin' to talk smack

You better get ready for EJ to talk back

You think you got it? Fool you ain't got shit

You know I've always said "talk shit, get hit"

And I swear I heard you tryin' to act tough

Well welcome to the jungle bitch, it's about to get rough

See I ain't no wanna be rapper tryin' to rake in the dough

I'm a musical poet who can let his rhymes flow

And you think you're the best? Well imma teach you a lesson

I'm the god, the king, so y'all fools quit messin'.

[Delta]

I think you're mistaken, friend.

My style don't have to rely on rhymes like you.

It's more about the beat, the rhythm,

That's something I don't think you know of.

You're all focused on your words, your rhymes,

You don't step back and see the big picture!

Maybe if you just gave it a little time,

You could see how little it really matters.

Now, see, what'd you get from that son?

Beat, rhythm, they're more important than the rhyme.

Now, I'm sorry if I offended you, man, but listen here:

It ain't nothin' but music!

[Scoldon]

Scoldon in da house,

Gonna show ya'll how to rhyme,

Damn, my stupid clock isn't showing me time.

Oh look, there comes Delta, the new Slim Shady,

You look like huncback and Golum had a god damn baby,

I spit effing rhymes like I'm the new Snoop Dogg,

Ya'll guys are sitting in the Denizen fog,

Don't judge my half-brain raps,

You guys can't even close you're shoe straps,

I've got more brains than you're average SpeedoMonkey,

You're stupid chicken sandwiches smell a little bit funky,

This is it, I effing quit,

I'm out of the house, now you can effing sit.

No offense to ya' guys, I know this rap sucks, but I have to change my style from Latvian to English.

[Delta]

Okay, now listen here,

I know my style is a little weird.

I don't rhyme like the rest of you,

But shit man, at least it's something new.

Scoldon, where you from? Latvia?

Didn't their government resign? Quit? They don't even like their own country?

I mean, damn, looks like that's a shitty place to be.

Glad it's you and not me,

Sorry to say.

You're the new Snoop Dogg?

Bitch please, I may be a baby to this shit,

But at least I ain't comparin' myself to him.

Yeah, I said it, I don't like Snoop.

Whatcha gonna do? Kill me? Tie me up?

You gonna make me wish I was never born?

Good luck with that, fucker.

I'll see you all when I'm at the top.

[Hannibal]

I actually came to this site from an Epic Rap Battles of History forum.

Making raps was the only thing we did on the site for 2 whole years almost.

I will school you guys soon.

[ThrowAmonkeyBomb]

I actually came to this site from an Epic Rap Battles of History forum.

Making raps was the only thing we did on the site for 2 whole years almost.

I will school you guys soon.

really?wow.

U should make a thread regarding said forum or PM me details about it. lol.

[Speedo Cola]

Alright, this first line goes out to Mr. Delta

I'll cut you, slice and dice you, and I'll impale ya

Maybe my avatar is from paint, but it still beats yours

Yours gives the vibe of something that I'd wanna report

Oh and Ej, I'll bitchslap you, and have it backhanded

I'll roast you, like your thread for a club of chicken sandwich

Which makes sense, cause all you'll ever spit it birdshit

You cock-sucker, face it, my rhymes are perfect

Look, I'm down to earth, rock hard as some scissors

That's why when these bitches get up on me, they are gold diggers

I build mountains out of myself, you probably build 'em from blisters

That I gave ya, so complain about it to the shitter

Oh and Scolden, don't talk about shady when he's better than you

I'm more than a dumb speedomonkey, bitch I control this zoo

This zoo is the game, you visit once in a blue moon

You guest, so get on your menstrual cycle and ride it, KABOOM!

Want a souvenier? How about a new lawsuit to just wear?

I wear a speedo, maybe you'd all be decent if you put on a pair

Yep 2, cause just one on you wouldn't cut it

Your nana sucked my banana, and she did it in public

[Electric Jesus]

I swear I'm going to stop participating in this thread if y'all don't quit hating on the chicken sandwiches.

Whatever. I'll post some more verses later. I've got turkey coma.

[TheBSZombie]

Dear everybody on here, your raps are bad

Mine may not be better but yours are just sad

If you think you are better then you are sadly mistaken

I could rap circles around you while cooking me some bacon

Scratch that, i dont cook,

I leave that for your bitch that I took

Shes making me me a sandwich

While im using some of my bandwith

To slay me some zombies because we all know you guys cant

My kill count rises while your downs start to become abundant

You scream you haz ray guns

I scream you are a noob and revive you so my revives go up by the ones

After that I duck and weave

Dogging through these zombiees

And when the round ends

I click submit and how you how the bs zombie will always win