Epic Rap Battles of CoDz

[Hannibal]

Excuse me, but may I have your attention?

I came here to obviate this rapping dissension.

Need I even mention the tension I bring?

While I'm playing Ascension,

I'm ending your contention,

Call me Hook, A.K.A, "The Rap King."

My rhymes are so sharp, they'll turn your armor into rags.

I'll kick you in the frags,

you'll blame it on the lag,

I'm not trying to nag,

but that Donor title might as well be saying Fag.

I'm not trying to hate Zombie, but that rap was BS.

It doesn't take Scavenger to see, it's quite obvious.

Leave Nazi Zombies to the big boys EJ, I'm sorry yo,

but I think the messiah should just stick to Mario.

[TheBSZombie]

I see your signature

Im not referring to the picture

And all i can think of is how ungreat you are

Your raps come out fast and like a blur

But you are still insecure

I can tell by how you call out my medals

You only have one,

you need to step your game up,

Like put your pedal to the metal

Your name is hook, But even if I was a fish you couldn't catch me

Im faster then lightning

A crucifix couldnt catch me

Thats a stab at you EJ

You may need to pray,

for some rap lines

But they won't be answered because Im the slim shady, the god

*mic dropped*

[TheBSZombie]

Oh to make this more light spirited, and so no one gets mad and butthurt over the genius rhymes being spit, i think people should quote the best parts of some of the lines that were said before they posted.

These lines should be so great, so awesome, so dirty, and wonderful that they provoke a reaction similar to the one below:

Il start it off

Leave Nazi Zombies to the big boys EJ, I'm sorry yo,

but I think the messiah should just stick to Mario.

[Delta]

This goes out to BS, you motherfucker!

Hook, you know you're a good guy too,

But man, this ain't your game.

You try, you try, you try,

But you just can't cut it man.

I think you should stick to those gifs, man.

BS, what the fuck does that even mean?

I would go with bullshit, but everyone expects that!

You think you're the best, but man,

All you guys got the same style.

You rhyme at the end of the line,

Nothing changes, not at all.

You see, it feels more beautiful my way,

Hell, I don't have to rhyme to compete with you people!

Keep spitting out those rhymes at me, boys.

Just know that I'll still be here,

Laughin' at your sorry asses,

You just copy each other.

Very nice idea, BS!

I can tell by how you call out my medals

You only have one,

you need to step your game up,

Like put your pedal to the metal

[Hannibal]

I would like to point out: When I say the word "Fag." I don't mean it as a homosexual insult. I mean it as a cowardly asshole. And when I said it to you BS, I was 100% just trying to make a rhyming word. Never mean anything I say.

[Speedo Cola]

Dear Hook, I wrote to you, but you still ain't calling

Maybe it's because you rhyme like Drake, but you never left the bottom

And BS, you're not fly, rather you're falling

Down, which you are when I join your Grief Match and start balling

Say you're Slim Shady, but you're neither slim or shady

You can spit shit all day, either way doesn't faze me

Think you deserve the mic? Man you must be crazy

I pass a bottle because you're so simplistic, like a baby

And Delta, I'll let you live this time, since I didn't get mentioned

But I'll kill you with a lyrical invention if you try an intervention

So listen closely or fail like a zombie mission cause of this musicisian

Urine Trouble, if you even get to pissing me off, that's to all you bitches!

[Hannibal]

Dear Hook, I wrote to you, but you still ain't calling

Maybe it's because you rhyme like Drake, but you never left the bottom

"My tea's gone cold I wonder why.."

[Speedo Cola]

Dear Hook, I wrote to you, but you still ain't calling

Maybe it's because you rhyme like Drake, but you never left the bottom

"My tea's gone cold I wonder why.."

Haha, I was just listening to Stan and wanted to put a twist on it ;)

[Delta]

Oh, I get it.

Look at this motherfucker, he's the next Marshall!

Stick a fuckin' record label on him, give him a cool name,

Oh shit, lookout, it's Marshall Mathers the Fourth!

I don't know about you fuckers, but I actually listen to other types of music!

Rock, metal, pop, even though pop is complete shit!

Fuck it, so is country, at least to me.

I'll roll, I'll scratch, I'll jockey for ya any day,

But come on to me, tellin' me what to do,

You must have a death wish, you dense motherfucker.

Sure, I'm different, I don't rhyme a lot,

But I'm more unique than anyone you ever set eyes on before,

You better get down on the floor,

Crawl over here, beg for forgiveness,

That's right, beg to me, beg to the master!

Fuck being a peasant of the rhymes, I'll stay up here,

In my throne, crown on my head, bitches at my call,

While all you fuckers scrabble in the dirt,

Thinking your rhymes even fuckin' matter.

This was a burn.

And BS, you're not fly, rather you're falling

Down, which you are when I join your Grief Match and start balling

Question. Is this not rhyming style good or not?

[Hannibal]

Personally, I like rhymes better.

[Speedo Cola]

Oh, I get it.

Look at this motherfucker, he's the next Marshall!

Stick a fuckin' record label on him, give him a cool name,

Oh shit, lookout, it's Marshall Mathers the Fourth!

I don't know about you fuckers, but I actually listen to other types of music!

Rock, metal, pop, even though pop is complete shit!

Fuck it, so is country, at least to me.

I'll roll, I'll scratch, I'll jockey for ya any day,

But come on to me, tellin' me what to do,

You must have a death wish, you dense motherfucker.

Sure, I'm different, I don't rhyme a lot,

But I'm more unique than anyone you ever set eyes on before,

You better get down on the floor,

Crawl over here, beg for forgiveness,

That's right, beg to me, beg to the master!

Fuck being a peasant of the rhymes, I'll stay up here,

In my throne, crown on my head, bitches at my call,

While all you fuckers scrabble in the dirt,

Thinking your rhymes even fuckin' matter.

This was a burn.

And BS, you're not fly, rather you're falling

Down, which you are when I join your Grief Match and start balling

Question. Is this not rhyming style good or not?

They're mean insults, but there's not much actual rapping/rhyming going on. There's a little, but try to make the message you send across come out rhyming. That'd work better.

Oh, and thanks for the compliment man

[Scoldon]

Let me get something straight,

It think you guys are late,

There's no more Slim Shady,

Delta raps like a lady,

Cries and whines about her life,

Let me give you a knife,

Just stick it in your head and don't look at that red,

Better yet, get a gun and eat some fricking lead,

America, I can't call it a nation,

Just let Scoldon handle the situation.

My rhymes are dope, let's all hope that TAMB forgets how to smoke,

While we're at drugs, let me tell you something ya mugs,

Cocaine, meth or heroine, it doesn't matter what ya snort,

You won't be able to sport,

Scoldon's gettin' bored,

No matter what, you all got floored,

All your tears just fricking poured,

Please drive away in your ford,

Better yet, swallow my sword.

As always, no offense to ya' guys, love ya' all. ;)

[Speedo Cola]

Nope Slim is back, check out MMLP the second

Read between the lines, oh I bet yo ass is dyslexic

You don't like America? We come your country pulls a middle east like, "Iran"

And Delta thanks for warming my throne up, now get out of my land

You think you're important? Nah bitch you're full of horse shit

But you're not the shit, and bow down cause it's time to worship

And Scoldon, I don't drive a Ford, but I still can afford it

Get it? When I break ya neck, I break fast, just like in the morning

The rain is pouring, cause I decided to piss on your dreams

Full of misery, face it, bitch, you'll never make history

But with my victory, I can make sure that crown will get to me

So mentally, I'll make you addicted to me like I am Nicotine

So smoke that up, it's the only thing that you do right

You couldn't cut me from this game, even with a huge knife

I don't even care who tries, my message is "You Die."

Do I have to prove twice? Wait you're a pussy, so you'll have to lose nine times

Oh, and improve rhymes

(I am screwing around as well, lol don't take it too seriously)

[TheBSZombie]

.

And BS, you're not fly, rather you're falling

Down, which you are when I join your Grief Match and start balling

This was good

Now let the rap begin

I wasnt the one that went down

That was my sucky teammate hook

But he was instantly revived

By my kraus refreberalater

You didnt see me because imma stealthy motherfucker

Everyone saw you tho, you are a hefty motherfucker

Im a king of grief

And a god of rap

I dont to down

But when i do its to cause you to go down.

This isnt minecraft

You cant walk through a body

So your trapped and you go down

But i get revied

Call that TBSZ2

and when im up il Teabag you to

Cus I dont care about MMX and what he stews

About how to play

Stick to the story line

Thats what you do

And if you are reading this I dont mean disrespect

Im just in the groove and what ever i say comes out smooth

[Delta]

Hey, hey, hey.

Guess what?

These rhymes are fuckin' gay!

Oh, what, he's a homophobe now?

What're you gonna do? Cry now?

Well you might as well get the fuck out, if you are,

And on the way out, make sure that door's shut!

That's why they call me Delta.

I don't take no shit, got it?

Oh no, here comes BS,

Sorry man, you ain't cut out for the rap game,

You should stick to runnin' trains and shit,

Damn, maybe you should just shut up and watch Code Geass.

It's an anime, bitches.

All you fuckers should be for shame,

Bein' shown up by a new kid like me,

Any of you from the UK?

If so, just sit back and sip on your tea,

Talk about your Queen, that old fuckin' witch.

Once again, no insults are serious, neither is the use of the word gay.

And I tried rhyming more.

[TheBSZombie]

Yo delta your rhymes are nonexistent

No rhtym or rhyme you should stop dissing

Cus it just makes you look bad

Your word choice makes you soundmlike a little lad

That hasnt had his ball drop

You probably go around in your undies singing with a mop

thats the definition of gay

Yea i said it, i won't deny it

I wont edit this post

I laugh at our jokes

Not cus their funny, but cus their stupid and you know it

But you still hit submit because you dont know any better, you need some wit

Just get over it

You want stop me

I got to round infinite

Richtofen cant control me

I told you imma god

My zombies have red eyes

Ferguson is my bitch and he does as I please

[ThrowAmonkeyBomb]

What up yall,time for the real monkey to step in,

move over Mr.Speedo Im the one who run this shit.

Delta your kinda cool but I will dominate you,

and that BSzombie you just full of bullshit.

Imma spend a sec,Ehjookate yall bout me,im the one,the only,Mr.Monkey.

I been running these forums near about 12 months,

and been fuckin yall girls sense I was 14.

I been round the block,had threads deleted been banned,

even fought with the Mods but yall cant stop me!

Cuz Im the Big bad Mr. Fuckin Monkey!

Now its time for the real fight to begin,

only true competition was the EJ!

But he cant spit like me,he spits shit but I spit flame.

I spit flame,I spit fame,I take pain but I gain.

I dont need rhymes,yall believe what you see,if i wanted to rhyme id make Bob write it for me!

[Delta]

Ok, you know what?

I was gonna go easy on you, you know.

But shit, I'm just gonna go with my gut.

You know what your actions show?

For one, you can't listen.

Two, you hate authority.

Holy shit, what the hell rhymes with authority?

Disregard that, let's just get started.

You fuck bitches since you were fourteen?

Sir, I'ma have to ask you if you're fucking retarded.

Shit, all you do is spam,

You can write for shit,

Half this site can't even read your posts, I mean damn!

It's only a matter of time before your white ass gets hit,

To the fucking corner, with the rest of those fuckers over there,

Make way for me, bitches,

This is my throne, kids,

And lemme tell you, I don't like to share.

[Speedo Cola]

What up yall,time for the real monkey to step in,

move over Mr.Speedo Im the one who run this shit.

Delta your kinda cool but I will dominate you,

and that BSzombie you just full of bullshit.

Imma spend a sec,Ehjookate yall bout me,im the one,the only,Mr.Monkey.

I been running these forums near about 12 months,

and been fuckin yall girls sense I was 14.

I been round the block,had threads deleted been banned,

even fought with the Mods but yall cant stop me!

Cuz Im the Big bad Mr. Fuckin Monkey!

Now its time for the real fight to begin,

only true competition was the EJ!

But he cant spit like me,he spits shit but I spit flame.

I spit flame,I spit fame,I take pain but I gain.

I dont need rhymes,yall believe what you see,if i wanted to rhyme id make Bob write it for me!

You think you a real monkey? You shove bananas up your cooch

Meanwhile I got your family hostage, and bitch I'm ready to shoot

You think you run shit? Maybe you run shit out your asshole into ya diaper

But I got a speedo on, except when I take your bitch, and my dick's inside her

You say you had our bitches since you was 14, but you're like 12

I'll take you, Delta, Scoldon, BS, and send ya'll to hell

See? I'm the god, I just watch each of ya'll's pitiful attempts

My ocean, I'm a motherfuckin' shark watchin some fuckin' shrimp.

Cause I could eat you up, Ps TAMB did someone eat your rhymes?

Cause they're not there, the stuff is wack when I see those lines

You call Ej competition? He's not shocking, He's just some bait

That I put on a rhythm, with my lines jotting, but it was a mistake

Yep, Ej, my creation, he's nothing but a bot

And to all you fuckers, go ahead and suck my cock

[Hannibal]

From my point of view, Speedo Monkey is killing you guys.

[Speedo Cola]

Lol Hook I think I hushed them up for a while

[ThrowAmonkeyBomb]

Lol Hook I think I hushed them up for a while

Hushed?You aint hushed shit, but I hushed your homies last week with my gun, man that was fuckin fun.Watchin your niggas scream, watchin em bleed well i give your girl my big ass D that was the shit for me.

Im the man bro, you just the damn boy, go get me a fucking sandwich, and say I aint a G.

What?I aint rhyming homes? I dont need rhymes bro!

I threw it on the ground!I threw you on the ground!I threw EJ on the ground!I threw Delta on the ground!I threw--

wait what?

Those lyrics are stolen?

I through em on the ground!

Now lets get back to business, Im the Fucking KING!

kingJAQ up in this shit, im the steve of codz, the beasting of split screen.

beasting?I talk to beasting.Wings?I talk to WINGS!Steve?he aint answered me.Pish?hes down for motherfucking TCCODZG!

Me?Am I me? May-fucking-beee!!!!

:lol:

[Delta]

Hmm? What's this we have here?

A case of stolen lyrics?

Holy shit, that is so fucking queer!

Okay, okay, the homophobia wasn't serious.

All y'all fuckers gettin' all mad,

Just because I tried to make a little joke,

And it didn't come out I had wanted.

Nice, Monkey.

Stealing from the Lonely Fuckin' Island.

You see, that's why you're down there,

And I'm up here, in the highlands.

Lemme just sit down, draw you up a chair.

We need to have a chat,

Frankly, your rhymes are quite flat.

You lack the style, the message,

Frankly you should go back to being in a game.

At least there, you didn't get out to shame,

All because you thought you could be up here,

Where the rest of us, the rap masters,

Come to share a beer.

[Speedo Cola]

Lol Hook I think I hushed them up for a while

Hushed?You aint hushed shit, but I hushed your homies last week with my gun, man that was fuckin fun.Watchin your niggas scream, watchin em bleed well i give your girl my big ass D that was the shit for me.

Im the man bro, you just the damn boy, go get me a fucking sandwich, and say I aint a G.

What?I aint rhyming homes? I dont need rhymes bro!

I threw it on the ground!I threw you on the ground!I threw EJ on the ground!I threw Delta on the ground!I threw--

wait what?

Those lyrics are stolen?

I through em on the ground!

Now lets get back to business, Im the Fucking KING!

kingJAQ up in this shit, im the steve of codz, the beasting of split screen.

beasting?I talk to beasting.Wings?I talk to WINGS!Steve?he aint answered me.Pish?hes down for motherfucking TCCODZG!

Me?Am I me? May-fucking-beee!!!!

You wanna battle? Well you'll for sure be in for a crisis

You're gonna get upstaged, like a show based on gas prices

My lyrics will make you blinded, all the way from your iris to eyelids

You know what I did? I make this track gold like I'm Midas.

You wanna throw a monkey bomb at me, well you're throwing at fire

I'm red-hot, so your bomb, just like simply expires

Don't think you can burn me, bro, I got the heart of a lighter

I'll burn you all down, then claim your possessions for my empire

You want a sandwich? Well first let me open my can of whoop-ass

You can't make any remarkable moves, unlike this crook has

Your attempts ain't working, you need to read the book of rap

Cause whatever you've been readin', tells me that you took trash

Out of the garbage and tried to craft something but it didn't work

You throw monkeys so you're a medic, but you can't fix yourself when ya get hurt

Cause every verse I disperse when I converse makes you worse with a curse

You're getting thrown in the dirt, has it occured, that this is something you can't reverse?

[Speedo Cola]

Alright, time for a revival, I'll make all of you get, shot twice
Maybe you haven't realized it by now, but I am not nice
I'm on my top grind, so great, that I belong in 2pac's time
I'm like a Tru-Moo ad on all these losers, like "got rhyme?"

I stopped tryin', to joke, so this time I'm bein' serious
If you think you can beat me, you're simply bein' delirous
Yeah.                          Crazy like a taazmanian
Devil, but I'll revile, in the fact I'm not a homosapien

I'm a monkey. But I'm still not goin' apeshit
With my crap, callin' out all you fuckers who are too basic
The greatest, most-famous, rapper of CoDz, bendin' the matrix
Till I got the latest, hit out, so ya'll can kiss my anus, I made it