Jay's Zombies Laws

[Mr. Jay]

Certain things are not scientific yet as consistent as gravity. Call it superstitions, but somethings parallel Newton's Laws in zombies. Let us call them "Jay's Zombie Laws"

If you need a certain gun from the box you will never get it regardless how much money you have. Yet if you casually spend the box during Fire Sale chances are you will get Ray Gun or Thunder Gun even if you don't need it.

Whatever round you are trying to achieve, will always jinx you. You will have many great games leading up to it, but always fail as you get very close. Sometimes you lose power, you lose connection, or wife stands in front of you "by accident."

On NML, you will always do something stupid and die whenever you have an excellent start or as soon as you think to yourself "this might do it."

In random lobbies, when you are looking for good teammates and actually find them, they will either play really bad cohesively or you will have one of your worst games. Or if you are looking for scrubs and found them, they will somehow outplay you.

In coop, if you are having a great game, or close to you goal, someone will always lag, causing you to go down uncontrollably.

After spending hours looking for decent partners and now have to go, your preferred team of friends will log on just before you log off.

If you are planning to play a 2 player high round your other friends will always invite you to games you have no interest in. Yet when you just want to casually play with friends they are always committed to high round games.

When you finally get Xbox and can't wait to share it with other members CODZ will go down for maintenance causing you to lose contact with them.

Your connectivity is always stable and secure yet whenever you need it the most you will find yourself lagging. Sometimes you have 3 tablets running YouTube or Netflix and no problem. But during a challenge with friends you find yourself seeing doubles.

When you do a certain move over and over and never any issues, yet that same move fails during most critical times.

Your dog/cat/pet/acquaintances are always well behaved. Yet when you are committed to an important game they always act up and need undivided attention.

Your controller is always in need of charging in the middle of a round, never during down time. Or your mike will malfunction whenever you need it the most.

Whenever you get lucky with your weapon of choice or after you get Bowie knife and all your perks, you will some how go down and bleed out, causing you to lose everything.

Whenever you make a case of what not to do or how well you play during a certain situations, you will fail and jinx yourself. "I'll run the middle because I think I'm more efficient....." will be followed by three downs.

Whenever you get set up for a certain situation, your friends will always change the plan and make you do something else. After you spend your 100s of thousands on Ray Gun, HK21, and M72, they decide you are better suited for window guarding.

For months you plead for a competent team with no luck. When you finally able to schedule a time, your boss/spouse/children will always somehow have something planned without telling you. And just when you are engaging in your planned event they tell you something really important you have to take care of.

On BO1, the host is always the one who has to go during high rounds.

You always mistakenly trade in your pistol thinking it was CZ75, or the Mustang and Sally thinkingn it was the dual CZ75.

Whenever you are out of ammo and are forced to trade in one of your weapons, you will get max ammo within minutes.

What other laws have I forgotten?

Thanks for reading, have a good weekend.

[Naitrax]

Taking a 15-second break at the end of a round to get water when in a corner, playing with friends, will almost always cause you to become cornered.

 

No matter how good you think you are, the Panzer Soldat is always better.

 

If you are Delta, you will never lag out until you're needed.

 

Jusrt some of my personal ones.

 

Thank you for sharing this sir.

[MysteryMachineX]

You will not be killed by hundreds of hordes of zombies. You will be killed by the single zombie just before the next round starts.

 

You will always go down simultaneously with another player on the opposite of the map.

Edited April 5, 2014 by MurderMachineX

[Chopper]

My rule - your kids are fine sleeping at night when you partner is in.  The second she goes out so that you can play in peace, your kids will both decide to cause chaos.

 

Generally as round 25 starts.

[83457]

It's nice to know that the universe hates us all equally.

Even cod: could be real games or bots. 'one more kill for Loki, (several minutes pass, then die to stupid crap). Though, honestly, it us usually kill #7 (sentry) that suddenly never comes.

My go-to zombie buddy and I; perfect early rounds means one of us will say 'dead by round 10' and we are.

Solo, waste 2 qrs by round 10, figure 'might as well play it out' then set a new high, die, wish you had those 2 qrs back.

Cod: gotta reload, but wait. Wait. Wait. Tap X, enemy instantly appears, shooting you.

[PortlyLlama80]

Whenever you're doing a EE or something important, someone will lag or lag out, ruining all the work you have done.

[Naitrax]

Whenever you're doing a EE or something important, someone will lag or lag out, ruining all the work you have done.

 

DEEEEEELLLLLLTAAAAAAAAAAA

[Delta]

Whenever you're doing a EE or something important, someone will lag or lag out, ruining all the work you have done.

This is the most true statement I have ever seen in my life.