The Problem with Perks: A possible explanation for the effects of Perk beverages

[Skuld]

  As you may know, perks are a constant ever-updating facet of the Zombies experience, handy beverages that enhance the abilities of a player via numerous, perhaps magical effects within these seemingly  rather mundane soft drinks. However, their creation, nor the explanation of how they achieve these effects has as of yet, not been explained in entirety within the storyline. Not one for merely slapping on the lazy story writing excuse of "it's magic", I'd love to entertain an explanation tied down with real life science, along with the sci-fi genre's pseudo-science, however misguided or a self-delusion it may be. So keeping such in mind, despite the depth of detail and research I've gone at lengths to reiterate the perks in semi-scientific terms, this theory is not meant to misguide you into accepting the below as established fact. Now that we've moved that out the way, let me begin:

 

  In their attempts at creating the perfect Nazi super-soldier, Group 935 at one point came along the perk beverage machines. Each perk alters the recipient, enhancing reload time, providing greater endurance, improving fire rate, and more. Yet, despite all these wonders, we've not yet heard of an experiment wherein a squadron of soldiers were given these wonderful beverages and sent into battle to crush the inferior equipped Allies. This exemption has always led me to believe the perks themselves contain a flaw to great to overcome for group 935 to apply to the entirety of the Axis armies. As such I looked at the common method by which a player loses his/or her perks: the process of "bleeding out", upon revival said player is rid of all perks they've ingested. This suggests, that along with blood loss, is perk loss, a certainly large flaw, for can one imagine a Group 935 experiment where one Nazi soldier was pumped with Perk drinks, sent into battle, only to find out he is once again reduced to a mortal man the moment he is shot? If these perks can only grant their gifts to men lucky enough not to get shot, it would undermine their use, as a every-day part of war is indeed inevitable blood loss. But not to be stopped there, I decided to expand further upon this theory. I'd speculate that the perk beverages themselves, alter the blood cells. Due to blood loss draining a player of the benefits, one could assess that the blood is necessary or integral to the effect of a perk. Just as one ingests medicine, which is soon dispersed amongst the human system, perks would disperse through the digestive tract and alter the blood cells, but not the brain. See, during a normal day, when one loses blood, the brain sends the orders to regenerate new blood cells, based upon "blueprints" it has stored within. But, since the perk drinks are unable to effect the brain, bleeding out perk altered blood cells means the brain will regenerate normal blood, as opposed to making more Perk cells.  Indeed, we never see if the Perk drinks ever wear off with time, although one could assume that inevitably a character uses the restroom faculties. So saying, upon tying the Perks to blood, one must then describe them in such terms. Below is such:

 

Stamin-Up: 

  Cellular respiration is the process wherein a person converts oxygen in the blood stream to ATP energy which is then either immediately used or stored as myoglobin. The harder you work, the more oxygen is required, and should you run out of ATP energy, your body begins converting available glucose into lactic acid an act that causes muscle cramps and fatigue. Eventually your body runs out of available energy in its entirety and the muscles then seize, a term noted as the lactate threshold. Fortunately Stamin-up avoids this problem by altering the oxygen enrichment of each blood cell, amplifying the amount of oxygen present in the stream, allowing your body to have a constant supply of ATP energy, and thus prolonging the period at which you run indefinitely, extending the the lactate threshold. Although it should be noted that despite Stamin-up, the body eventually requires sleep, thus stopping you short of running forever with this perk.

 

Juggernog:

   Normal skin-repair requires extended time for platelets to appear and clot the wound through the blood stream, and white blood cell count determines the speed at which the system may fight against infectious disease. However, with Juggernog, white blood cells are augmented in power, and increased in amount, preventing almost any infection from deterring the physical body, as well as increasing the speed and count of platelets available to scab a wound and repair. A warning nonetheless, as speedily one recovers in use of Juggernog, it does not prevent all physical harm, and has a limit to which it can address wounds, until it depletes entirely.

 

Speed-Cola:

   Reaction time can depend upon the speed that blood flow reaches the brain, allowing it to send commands in response to stimuli. With the introduction of Speed-Cola, blood cells are adapted to flow at greater speeds, as the heat begins to pump slightly faster, with the addition of some adrenaline to initiate faster pump times. As such, most recipients are able to react much faster than the average human with this stim, as do their reload times with weapons.

 

Double-Tap:

  Muscle cramps that occur as an involuntary reaction, are normally due to a loss of electrolytes/or dehydration. When firing a weapon this can be cumbersome, as a twitch of the finger can either mean a faster shot, or a fumbling delay in fire. Playing upon this, Double-Tap targets the muscles in the hands, sending in small devices to measure the time at which a gun's hammer releases, and the muscles in the hand begin to feel pressure give way. detecting this distance for the next shot, Double-Tap drains the electrolytes at the minimum required distance to trigger a weapon, thus allowing one to fire faster.  As a side-result, occasionally one may be given the amount of time to pull the trigger twice in such a period of time as to fire two bullets almost simultaneously. Be wary though, for extensive use of Double-Tap's now voluntary cramp reaction, bullets should deplete faster than normally assigned rates.

 

Quick-Revive:

  Developed alongside the use of morphine as a pain medication, the Quick-revive beverage causes the drinker to become more responsive to Morphine effects, by combating tolerance of morphine over time with the introduction of numerous amounts of proglumide not only reducing tolerance, but preventing or enhancing the effect of Morphine. As such, each event calling for a quick jab of morphine  ensures the maximum, and in some occasions even increased, reaction, allowing the injured to recuperate quicker.

 

Dead-shot daiquiri:

  In order to increase the effectiveness of the human eye, this Daiquiri spreads a film of hydration over the eye, amplifying the detail at which it views. This film also carries high oxygen rates, constantly renewing the surrounding blood vessels to the eye. Eye irritation or dehydration of the body, depletes the film. Common uses of this drink in combat situation show an increase in accuracy.

 

PHD Flopper:

  PHD Flopper adapts the response of all liquids in the body to outside pressure, along with augmentation of the pores for pressure release. In normal situations, upon a fast change in outside pressure, liquids in the body began exerting pressure of their own in response, an effect commonly known as the Bends, occurring most often in diving. This effect is multiplied when the human body is exposed to most explosives, noted as the balloon effect. Examples include the use of HE 155 bombs, which upon explosion in proximity to a human, will result in the liquids in said human's liquids rupturing out the body, even if shrapnel does not find its way to injure them. PHD Flopper negates the pressure of explosions or any other forces which apply pressure to the body, by allowing blood cells to respond in kind with exerted oxygen through reinforced pores. By doing so the body will now respond evenly to pressure, negating any explosive balloon effects. This response has been found to reduce the often dangerous effects on both the muscle and bone structure in jumps from large heights, although due to the even spread of air by the blood cells, the pores will still disperse their pressure, causing a wave of air to ripple around the subject. In environments where the air is filled with flammable gases, this ripple has the chance to ignite those gases, creating a minor explosion, should the pressures involved be great enough. This newer perk has found use nominally in bomb squads and the like, but it should be noted that it will not respond at all to low pressure, stabbing and the likes will penetrate the body, injuring and then depleting the subject of PHD Flopper effects through blood loss.

 

Electric Cherry:

 Upon being consumed, this Perk spreads a chemical within the blood stream, that remains latent until the body produces epinephrine (better known as adrenaline), upon the  arrival of epinephrine, this chemical agent strips the blood and surface area of the skin of most electrons, increasing their conductivity. As soon a proper friction is introduced, the surrounding area of the subject is bombarded by electricity. As a pre-caution, this effect is only available during times of great stress, which normally induce adrenaline. (For example: In combat situations both the haste, which may produce an adrenaline rush, and friction of reloading a weapon can induce the electrical effect. Do not attempt to force the reaction, as either limited or no reaction will occur.) Unfortunately, this taser-like defense has poor conductivity in other living beings, but has proven effective against the dead, due to a lack of mitigating factors. 

 

 

Tombstone Soda:

  Developed in response to other Perk's decay over both time, and severe loss of blood/or hydration, this beverage renews previous perk effects once following such an incident as described above. Nanite-esque devices in the drink first measure and store the data of other Perk's genetic blueprints, and then embed themselves in the brain. Upon a perk draining event, this data is discharged into the neurological system, allowing it to replenish blood and liquid reserves with cells identical to those altered by any Perk.  Much to our misfortune, these devices deteriorate following a single use, and take their data with them, requiring a secondary cola to reproduce the devices.

 

Mule-Kick:

  This drink was produced with the use of agents found in Stamin-up and Double-tap, and as such uses limited versions of their processes. Only targeting the muscles in the upper torso (primarily the arms and back muscles) these areas are enriched with oxygen, and forced into flexation. The resulting muscle tissue is permanently enlarged, although initial tears can cause sore pain in the torso. Thankfully, this minor pain is balanced by the ability of the subject to carry and use greater weight. Combat use remains to be the increase of weapon capacity, although it is occasionally used for cargo movement.

 

Vulture-Aid:

 Yet another perk of unknown origin, it can be speculated that vulture aid was created as a supplement for hunting expeditions. By introducing a bacterial eliminating component (possibly trisodium phosphate) to the eccrine sweat glands, the perk almost eliminates human body odor, as the component 's anti-bacterial properties, once released, clean the affected skin. Unfortunately, it has little effect on outer clothing, and the untouched areas of skin (primarily the apocrine gland surfaces, such as the armpit), and as such the two items are subject to producing trace amounts of identifiable odor. However, a efficient remedy to its short falling, is that due to the reduced stench, one may coat their body in a masking agent, ie mud, fruit juices, or decomposed flesh. By doing so, the drinker's prey will remain oblivious to them. However, in the case of utilizing decomposed flesh, one must be wary enough to re-apply, as following several stages of decay, dead meat can lose its scent, becoming odorless in stages 4 and 5 when sufficient bacteria is not readily available within the corpse.

 

Who's Who:

  Lacking in entirety any specific scientific base, this beverage allows astral projection, in response to great trauma.  However, it can be speculated, that although beyond current understandings, this drink either achieves real practical use of ascetic hindu meditation; wherein the meditated being escapes the self and inhabits another organism, or perhaps achieves this by a relay of all psychological data, entering the damaged body into a regenerative hibernation and transferring consciousness via former contact to an empty vessel, in this case an infected husk; even more far flung is the drink acts as an escape mechanism, trauma prompting it to traverse to a similar reality, allowing momentary rectification of mistakes, before merging into the seams of a new universe. It can be further assumed it is nothing more than an indicator for the current Announcer to temporarily allow a reprieve, nothing more than a Get out of Jail free card appropriated for His game. nonetheless, it seems this final perk escapes any logical earthly bindings, re-affirming that all this, is none but a game.

[Stop Mocking Me0]

Yup. This is the most amazing thing I've read today! 

Now explain it using gum-balls! 

[NaBrZHunter]

Brilliant. Ranking this alongside @MysteryMachineX's breakdown of the types and weaponization of 115.