Character Quote Satire.

[83457]

If this was Reddit, I think this would be called a shitpost.

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I hear what I hear, and this is a place for me to share what I hear. More to come, i just wanted to start somewhere. Some are funny, some are glitched, some have a story.

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Tank, The Giant: "Get back in the Dirt-Devil, scum!". Why does Tank have a Dirt-Devil Vacuum in the mid 20th century, and why were there previously zombies in it, and why does he want them back in it? Forget the summoning key, fear the Dirt-Devil you zombie menace!

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Rictophen, Der Eisendrache, regarding Instakill: "if i could just make it last a little bit longer". Since WaW, Instakill would end a few seconds before the Instakill icon left your screen. In WaW, it would stop working when the timer got to 1 (so for 2 full seconds [1 count and 0 count], it didn't work when it should have).

In BO3, it is fairly well synched finally, but still fades at the end, so you can get 2 stabs in while the icon is on the screen still, and have instakill not work.

Why Instakill randomly doesn't work at all, especially when paired with Death Machine, is the new mystery of BO3.

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Jackie F. Vincent, SoE: "You've got a lot of nerve-creep". Nerve-creep is a serious and painful skin condition that plagues the undead, where their nerves protrude from the skin, with itching and burning pain, causing them to feed upon the living due to their foul mood and restless nature.

 

"Do you, or a zombie you love, suffer from Nerve-creep? Pharmaceutical studies show that Creepnot is the #1, doctor-recommended treatment for nerve-creep".

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Jessica, SoE: "Keep your distance-creeps". Yes, keep them. Nobody wants your distance-creeps.

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Nero, SoE: "Could you just not do that?". I say this to zombies when it glitches. This Nero saying was added to 360 in the same patch that made round 1 zombies hit you 3 times instantaneously, if you got within arm's reach. The first time that i heard this quote, i said it in tandem with Nero. It was quite the humorous moment for me.

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Here's an odd bit regarding The Giant's Tank and BK and Trip Mine (360 at least): Background info; Trip Mines, upgraded in SoE, are called Bouncing Betties when on the ground ("Hold x to pick up Bouncing Betties") unless this was recently patched. 

If you hold a Trip Mine in your hand as you stab, it has very quick reset time, making for the fastest stabs.

 

So, using Tank on The Giant (360 at least), holding a Trip Mine, stabbing with Bowie Knife, Tank will call out one saying after another that mentions Betty, despite the kills being made with the BK, and there being no Bouncing Betties in the Giant (unless I've missed the upgrade process). I don't recall this happening with other characters. 

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[AetherialVoices]

If this was on the subreddit and was really a "shitpost", then it would be the first shitpost to ever get an upvote from me.