Classified: A Classic Masterpiece

[NaBrZHunter]

If you will pardon me for my lateness, I will admit I am fully aware that I am that guy showing up to the party around 2 AM with a twelve pack and lots of energy only to find half the partiers have blacked out in their chairs, on the floor, or are stumbling around, only barely recognizable as sentient humans. In fact, this must be round 1! So let us begin. 

 

Early in the season, I heard a lot of people talking smack about this map - and while I was certified hyped when I saw the initial intro cutscene, something inside me expected to be disappointed. It was Five after all, right? And with all the weirdness of BO3, I found myself drained of motivation. I played maybe twice...and didn’t revisit the zombies menus. Hell, the perks had my head twisted, and besides, Blackout and Multiplayer were awesome!

 

So here I stand, halfway through the season, in rapturous awe to hear such glorious radios, such logical follow-up to World at War and Black Ops 1, such a complete foreshadowing of Black Ops 2, and by golly, such exquisite voice acting as I feel I have not heard in years. 

 

Classified had filled a hole in my heart, and far from simply being a remake of Five, it is a masterpiece, a perfect creation. Below are my reasons:

 

1. It is visually captivating

2. It is audibly incredible

3. The movement*, the weapons**, the perks***, the damage****, and the map design are like a nature preserve for the zombies experience, promising to be a go-to for casual fun and nostalgia for decades to come

4. The Easter eggs...ah, the Easter eggs. They are accessible, they are rational, they are nostalgic, and best of all, they are RICH! 

 

Last Saturday morning, to start this new binge off, I launched WAW: Der Riese, and played all the radios and Easter eggs in the map, and was done before round 20 (I took my time). From there, I could continue playing to my heart’s content - or, I could keep going until such a time as I was fully satisfied. Regardless, I got the experience, my nostalgia was satisfied, and I could die in peace. 

 

Unless I’m chasing down that Round 150 Easter egg, this is how Classified will be for me for years to come, and I am excited beyond belief for that prospect. In fact, I can confidently say that this map takes its place alongside Moon and Der Riese as one of my favorite maps of all time, hands-down. Please, Treyarch...keep ‘em coming. 

 

PS, I’m still dark, and still exploring. Please wear ear protection, as I may make more sudden outbursts of excitement.

 

*Movement: Throughout BO3, I found myself getting impossibly trapped by, what felt like, oversized "collision fields," or whatever that might be called. The zombies were brick walls - they could not be pushed or jostled, and in many occasions, I found myself staring ahead at a wide open gap, but my shoulder had collided with a zombie's shoulder, and no amount of movement on my part could dislodge me. 
ON CLASSIFIED, HOWEVER...I have not only slipped past zombies that would have stopped me cold in BO3, but in one beautiful, glorious moment last night, I Geronimo'd off the stairs and right atop a crowd of zombies, swarming to trap me...and I bounced off their heads to safety. I moment I will not soon forget

 

**Weapons: For the first time since BO2, I find myself running excitedly to the box - even passing up tried-and-true wall weapons in favor of a good gamble, becuase so far, even the lesser weapons I've pulled have proven to at least tide me over.

 

***Perks: I don't know why the four-perk system is so appealing. I still wish there was a Juggernog machine we could grab a drink from, even if it did absolutely nothing. But as it is, the four-perk system makes life easier, and is a great way to customize each experience. If I had one more request (someone find me a genie...I could use at least 3 wishes), it would be for the old perk machines, though I can give them a pass in non-935 maps.

 

****Damage: I haven't attempted to fully understand how this works yet, but whatever it's doing, I like it. Sadly, it truly makes Juggernog obsolete, but the experience is so much more fun, considering how going down on Round 30 in the days of Juggernog often meant that what remained of the game would be a struggle.

 

[anonymous]

Nahh, you rather seem that type of guy who, in all his drunkness, suddenly starts an emotional speech  to his friends at 4AM. I must say that I am very fund on posts like this, extensive personal opinion/experience threads. Nice work, and let's hope A&O will become something similar!

 

A question however, on Pinnaz's thread you commented something about Maxis and Samuel Stuhlinger quotes. I have missed these, and I'm very curious to know what they say (as internet doesn't assist me). Can you, by chance, help me?

[Boom115]

I just completed the 150 run and it was an absolute grind. That being said, I'm not soured on this map and the story detail is huge and satisfying. 

[NaBrZHunter]

1 hour ago, Boom115 said:

I just completed the 150 run and it was an absolute grind. That being said, I'm not soured on this map and the story detail is huge and satisfying. 

That's awesome to hear. I was a little concerned about that. I may have to run the gauntlet this weekend. How many hours?

 

2 hours ago, anonymous said:

Nahh, you rather seem that type of guy who, in all his drunkness, suddenly starts an emotional speech  to his friends at 4AM. I must say that I am very fund on posts like this, extensive personal opinion/experience threads. Nice work, and let's hope A&O will become something similar!

 

A question however, on Pinnaz's thread you commented something about Maxis and Samuel Stuhlinger quotes. I have missed these, and I'm very curious to know what they say (as internet doesn't assist me). Can you, by chance, help me?

LOL!!!! Noooo! You know me too well. 

 

I don't know everything about Classified yet, so I just saw that four of the sections he posted ("Classified Intel (Radios etc)," "Dr. Edward Richtofen Radio's," "Classified - Dr. Ludvig Maxis," and "Classified - Samuel J. Stuhlinger" were all broken videos. I guess that's because they don't exist. Not sure why they're in the OP, tho.

[Boom115]

1 minute ago, NaBrZHunter said:

That's awesome to hear. I was a little concerned about that. I may have to run the gauntlet this weekend. How many hours?

 

LOL!!!! Noooo! You know me too well. 

 

I don't know everything about Classified yet, so I just saw that four of the sections he posted ("Classified Intel (Radios etc)," "Dr. Edward Richtofen Radio's," "Classified - Dr. Ludvig Maxis," and "Classified - Samuel J. Stuhlinger" were all broken videos. I guess that's because they don't exist. Not sure why they're in the OP, tho.

It took me just under 14, was not optimized by any means. 

[NaBrZHunter]

1 minute ago, Boom115 said:

It took me just under 14, was not optimized by any means. 

Hmm...could probably start around 5 PM on Saturday, run 'till 1, and resume at 6:30 Sunday and have it done before noon. lol! Goals set, fingers crossed.

[ZombiesAteMyPizza!]

It's a really good map, but for me it's not as great as FIVE. I don't like the lighting at all, it's really bright and almost cartoony. FIVE's lighting was perfect, really set the scene. No Pentagon Thief in Classified which was where FIVE for me got a lot of its charm from. Plus, as much as I love Ultimis, I dunno... playing as political figures in the Pentagon was just so fitting, plus the dialogue was some of the best we've ever had, and in Classified the dialogue was pretty average as far as Ultimis go.

[NaBrZHunter]

@ZombiesAteMyPizza! I’m tempted to get indignant! jk, I really appreciate your appreciation of old Five. 

 

Just to be sure, though, you know Pentagon Theif and the politicians are excluded from this for story reasons, though, correct? This isn’t a remake/remaster as much as it is an entirely new episode of Aether zombies. 

 

I can’t speak to the dialogue, though. I’ll have to play a few more 4-person matches and feel that out. 

 

Like I said, though - I applaud your appreciation of the older map. I caught some “what the heck” back during BO3 because I stuck to my guns, saying BO1 Moon was better than anything that followed. XD

[ZombiesAteMyPizza!]

8 hours ago, NaBrZHunter said:

@ZombiesAteMyPizza! I’m tempted to get indignant! jk, I really appreciate your appreciation of old Five. 

 

Just to be sure, though, you know Pentagon Theif and the politicians are excluded from this for story reasons, though, correct? This isn’t a remake/remaster as much as it is an entirely new episode of Aether zombies. 

 

I can’t speak to the dialogue, though. I’ll have to play a few more 4-person matches and feel that out. 

 

Like I said, though - I applaud your appreciation of the older map. I caught some “what the heck” back during BO3 because I stuck to my guns, saying BO1 Moon was better than anything that followed. XD

Oh of course, I totally get why it is the way it is in those respects, doesn't mean I have to like it (I mean like the changes, as I said I do actually really like the map, but it's not in my personal top 3 like FIVE is).