Ludvig Maxis is the biggest dummy who ever lived

[RadZakpak]

 

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

 

This FRAUD is a scientist who started the EVIL NAZI organization GROUP 935 in 1931. Sounds pretty SMART, eh? Well you'd be DEAD WRONG.

 

Here are proven FACTS that I* have found to show what a DUMMKOPF this guy is!

 

1. For being such a GENIUS, Maxis didn't seem to care when one of his BEST scientists perfected TELEPORTATION! 

 

To quote directly from the horse's mouth:

 

"What? That you moved a walnut a few feet? Yes, Edward, we will improve the human condition by revolutionizing the walnut industry. I can see it now: 'Edward's Walnut Delivery.'"

 

WOW! Talk about being OBTUSE! 

 

 

2. Maxis is the worst father OF ALL TIME.

 

After expressing his fears about a certain UNNAMED scientist's mental state, just 4 DAYS LATER... HE LEAVES HIS DAUGHTER IN THAT MAN'S CARE FOR 3 YEARS!!! REALLY!

December 16th, 1942

In a personal log, Maxis expresses concern over Element 115’s impact on UNNAMED SCIENTIST’s behavior. No longer trusting him, he wonders if it was a mistake to invite him to Group 935.

December 20th, 1942

Accompanied by Sophia, Maxis is transferred to the Kino facility to focus on creating Germany’s undead army. Samantha is left in UNNAMED SCIENTIST’s care.

 

Ludvig also gave his seven-year old DAUGHTER a DOG. Sounds sweet, right? Except that dog was PREGNANT! What happens when that dog gives birth and Sam tries to pet those puppies? OUCH!

 

To make matters worse, Maxis used the dog for ANIMAL TESTING. SOMEBODY CALL PETA!!!  AND THE DOG WAS PREGANANT AGAIN?!?!?!

 

 

Poor Samantha! Speaking of his FAMILY.............

 

3. He is a big, fat HYPOCRITE!

 

In the handbook Maxis wrote for HIS OWN ORGANIZATION, it says:

 

"No one is to know what you do, where you work, what our research has uncovered, or what our purpose will be. You will have no further contact with your governments or with your families. Your decision to fully dedicate your lives to Group 9-3-5 is absolute."

 

Yet, Ludvig was MARRIED at the time, and later HAD A CHILD while working at Group 935!

 

OH, I'M SORRY, DO THE RULES NOT APPLY TO YOU?!

 

4. Maxis is a SWEATING, FILTHY LIAR!

 

MAXIS made promises time and time again to his colleague, DOCTOR EDWARD RICHTOFEN, that he would mass-produce the INCREDIBLE WUNDERWAFFE DG-2, yet, he never did! How could anyone trust someone like that?! Wouldn't that just DRIVE YOU INSANE?!

 

5. Maxis is a CREEP! A REAL NASTY GUY!

 

Ludvig Maxis had a love affair with his YOUNG ASSISTANT Sophia for YEARS! Samantha did not like her, BUT MAXIS DIDN'T CARE! SORRY KID, YOU'VE GOT A NEW MOM NOW!

 

DID YOU KNOW that in a fractured dimension, Maxis falls so deeply in love with her that he MURDERS HER after she is bitten by a zombie, and PUTS HER BRAIN into a ROBOT? Yikes! Obsessed much?

 

6. Maxis didn't realize his organization had turned against him for YEARS.

 

While he was busy committing WAR CRIMES, his brilliant colleague DOCTOR EDWARD RICHTOFEN was uncovering LOST CIVILIZATIONS!

 

Edward used Group 935's resources for FIVE YEARS to build a base on the MOON and make COUNTLESS scientific discoveries!!! Where would be we today without the MODERN MARVEL that is the EDWARD RICHTOFEN INSTANT WALNUT DELIVERY SYSTEM®?

 

When Maxis found out the truth, he SHOT HIMSELF in front of his daughter, and BLEW UP THE EARTH!!!!!!!! Turns out, though, that started a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. WOW, WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT.

 

 

If you learned anything about the DEPLORABLE LUDVIG MAXIS from this post, please forward it TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY or YOUR SPLEEN WILL BE EATEN BY THE UNDEAD! THIS IS 100% REAL!!!

 

*This post is paid for by the Richtofen** for President Campaign

**I'm sorry about this post

[caljitsu]

also he's the puppet of an interdimensional space alien... And it's not even the cool one

[anonymous]

8 hours ago, RadZakpak said:

Edward used Group 935's resources for FIVE YEARS to build a base on the MOON and make COUNTLESS scientific discoveries!!! Where would be we today without the MODERN MARVEL that is the EDWARD RICHTOFEN INSTANT WALNUT DELIVERY SYSTEM®?

 

When Maxis found out the truth, he SHOT HIMSELF in front of his daughter, and BLEW UP THE EARTH!!!!!!!!

Damnit, you completely nailed it Rad, again.

 

However, even for mister hypocritical, nasty, lying, naive, sweating creep it seems fair to me that the man must have defending arguments as well.

 

#1 The Mind of the poor bastard

 

Logically, for being such a great scientist there is something not entirely good with his brain. Looking at his personal issues, it appears to me that he finds it difficult to handle people who are more than colleagues to him: Edward, Samantha, Sophia. Even while he wishes them the best, he simply cannot treat them normal. I'm pretty sure Maxis has had dark moments while laying in bed, overthinking his mistakes like abandoning his little girl and put the brain of his beloved into a robot. He might have even silently have cried when he thought about how he snubbed his optimistic, out-of-the-box-thinking and younger fellow scientist Edward. He wants them to be treated well, to be cared about, but he simply cannot. He tries so hard, but his personality simply doesn't allow him. 

 

#2 The Ambition of the legend

 

The early 1900s was a time of great science...seperated. Divided by country, religion or personal interest. But at one moment, a man stood up to unify all great scientists, to cooperate in order to improve human condition. To do something no one else ever even tried to, as everyone thought it was impossible to achieve. Whilst the result might have packed out differently than he initially wanted, he at least tried. This man's name was Ludwig Maxis.

 

#3 The writer's subjectivity

 

I have noticed that the writer of this thread seems to have a personal vendetta with Maxis. I don't know what the poor man did but I imagine it was cruel because this thread, this very blind anger. What can a man do against such a reckless hate?